Movie Mayhem
by Dancingdog
Summary: Strange things have been occurring since the Angels fell: People rising from the dead, Gabriel turning up at the bunker, sarcastic black cats, Liz Hurley granting wishes, a blue police box appearing in the middle of London and Team Free Will are caught right in the middle of it. The problem is: how do they get back home and why do all these characters look vaguely familiar?
1. Chapter 1

_A/N: I don't own anything in this chapter or the ones proceeding it. All characters go to their rightful owners. This is going to be a crossover fic, set at the end of Season 8 but before Season 9 (as it hasn't come over to England yet) with each chapter corresponding to a different show or film. The films will be in alphabetical order with any extras tagged on at the end of the 26 chapters. Hope you enjoy! :) _

_WARNING: Bit of blood in this chapter, but nothing graphic._

**_Alice in Wonderland_**

Although the Angels were falling and strange phenomena had been happening as a result (such as the excess energy from the fallen Angels leaching into Earth's soil and raising the dead; animals, humans and the supernatural alike. It had also healed many of the sick and injured and seemed to have an affinity for collecting as little pockets of energy, creating small openings to different times and locations, but fortunately, the latter was a rare occurrence), the Winchester brothers and Castiel were having a great week.

With no ideas on how to stop Metatron, Team Free Will were back to ganking the odd Werewolf or Vampire until an opportunity arose to better help the Angels (even though the trio believed they didn't deserve to be helped after everything they had done to human kind).

All was back to how it used to be, before the apocalypse and the tablets, before the Angels and the sudden influx in Demons.

It felt like they were brothers again.

So six months after Heaven's forces had fallen; each of them with a fraction of their previous power and all of them looking a little lost and confused and five months after a bedraggled but revived Gabriel had turned up at the bunker's doorstep, demanding to know what was going on and why he was alive, Sam had to admit that he was more irritated than surprised at falling down the two-hundred feet deep rabbit hole whilst on a hunt for a forest-dwelling Wendigo.

When he finally hit the ground, he realised two things:

1) He was alive

2) Dean, Castiel and Gabriel would probably follow him down any second.

Both were proved correct when he didn't suddenly keel over due to heart failure and three distinctive _thuds _sounded from behind, followed by three pained groans.

Sam eyed his surroundings warily. They were in a circular room with four doors and a small, but ornate table residing in the centre of the room. Two jars were resting upon it; one a quarter of the size of the other and a tiny, silver key next to them.

The younger Winchester walked to one of the doors, noticed the three-inch wooden door partially hidden from view and gave the knob of one of the larger ones a tug. Locked.

He immediately whirled around to face Gabriel, who had his head tilted curiously at the small door.

"What did you do?"

The trickster looked startled as he focused his gaze on the taller Winchester.

"What do you mean?"

Sam scowled as he stepped into the Archangel's personal space.

"I mean: Why have you brought us here?"

Gabriel looked at Sam as though he'd just announced he was pregnant.

"You think I did this, no, scratch that, you think I currently posses the power to do this?"

Sam frowned. "Do you?"

"No!"

"Well now that that's settled, where are we?" Came the gruff voice of Dean as he dusted himself off.

Castiel walked to the glass jars, one of which had _'Eat me'_ printed on its label and the other _'Drink me'_.

"To find that out, maybe it would be wise to follow the instructions," he said as he opened the _'Drink me' _jar to sniff its contents. He shrugged and before anyone had time to protest, took a swig of the clear liquid.

"Cas!" Dean shouted in alarm as the Angel began to shrink in size. He clutched his clothes tightly to his chest as they started to slide off his figure and he slowly came to terms with the idea that maybe he should have thought it through before barrelling head first into this situation.

When he finally stopped shrinking, he noticed it was dark. It was only when a hand twice the size of his whole body lifted a piece of tan material in front of him, did he realise that he was standing in one of his trench coat pockets.

"Cas? You in there?" Came a too loud voice.

"Yes, Dean. I'm fine." He frowned when he glanced down at his bare body.

"I'm naked."

There was an embarrassed silence before Dean replied with a slight cough.

"...No underwear?"

Cas shook his head.

"Baby bro, we can't see if you shake or nod; you're buried in fabric. You're gonna have to speak," chirped Gabriel with what Castiel was sure was a grin. He could practically hear it.

"No. I've got nothing on and Gabriel, why are you enjoying this? This is serious, I don't possess the power to change myself back and unless you do, I may remain stuck like this."

A short laugh from the Archangel followed.

"Sorry, bro, I barely have enough energy to fly, but if _'Drink me' _makes you small, want to take a guess at what _'Eat me' _does?"

Castiel clamped his mouth shut as the frown fell from his face.

"That's what I thought," grinned the smaller Angel before his expression turned thoughtful, "Although it does present a unique opportunity to see what lies behind door número cinco."

Sam's eyes widened. "Of course! Cas, the door slightly to your left, do you see it? Can you check to see if it's locked?"

"Promise we won't look," added Gabe with a smirk.

Castiel rolled his eyes before climbing out of the pocket and moving towards the tiny door. He tugged on the handle and wasn't all that surprised when it opened.

Sam had just finished testing the remaining three doors when Castiel asked, "Is this the only open one?"

"Seems like it."

"Looks like were going Munchkin," said Gabe as he inspected the liquid-filled jar.

"Won't be too much of a difference to you, will it?" Dean snickered.

The Trickster's lips formed a thin line as he took a sip and he, too, began to decrease in size.

When they were all buried in their clothing, it dawned on them that they had nothing else to wear.

"Err... what now?" Sam asked.

"Well... we _are _all dudes... I suppose," mumbled Dean.

"No offence, Winchester, but there are parts of you I never want to see."

"Says the Archangel who has no problems looking at people's souls on a regular basis."

"You two could always wear a fig leaf. Can't be that difficult to hide," smirked Sam.

There was some indignant sputtering from both men, which was suddenly interrupted by a quiet rustling.

The two hunters and Archangel were on alert and ready for a fight when an oak leaf was presented to each of their respective clothe piles.

Sam poked his head out from his jacket sleeve to find Castiel wrapping the giant (to them) leaf around his body.

"Uh... Cas... I didn't mean it literally."

The Angel placed a hand at where the two edges of the leaf overlapped and generated just enough energy so they'd melt and stick together.

Gabriel raised his eyebrows in appreciation from his position in a trouser leg.

"Nice thinking, little bro," he hummed as he copied Cas with his own leaf and then moved to help Sam and Dean with theirs.

"There's a garden outside," Castiel said by way of explanation, "It seems that our only way out is through there, considering the fact that Gabriel and I cannot drag you back the way we came with our limited power."

So, without a clue as to what lay ahead and with nowhere to store any holy water or weapons (not that it mattered now as everything they'd carried down with them was too large to handle), the four men set off to explore their surroundings, but not before Castiel, with great effort, flew to the top of the table to grab a piece of the cake lying in the smaller _'Eat me' _jar.

They stalked cautiously into the dark and misty forest, senses on high alert and ready for any nasty surprises. They had been walking for about half an hour when a vicious snarl sounded from behind one of the leafy bushes. The four stood back to back as they tried to locate the source.

Suddenly, a flash of dirty white leapt from behind the foliage and roared loudly, its many rows of sharp teeth glistening forebodingly under the moonlit sky. Saliva dripped from its mouth in eerie resemblance of a rabid dog and it swiped ferociously at the four men who were approximately the same size as its paw. Dean dragged Sam out of the way and yanked on Castiel's shoulder to tell him to run and soon, the team were sprinting through the forest, running faster than they had done in a very long time as the terrifying creature began to gain on them.

The two humans and Angels had a hard time trying to dodge the oversized flowers and vines that wrapped around their legs as they ran, easily tripping them up and giving the animal more time to catch up. Gabriel hauled Dean to his feet when a particularly thorny rose bit into the flesh of the hunter's calf and pulled him into a thick patch of long grass. He whistled for Cas and Sam and the four lay hidden as the dog-like creature sniffed the air.

The spotted creature's beady eyes darted around in search of its lost prey and it howled in frustration at the unsuccessful chase. Dean clamped his hands around his wounded leg and tried to stifle a moan, but it was too late and the beast focused its gaze on their position. Sam quickly hoisted his brother upright and slung the older hunter's arm around his wider shoulders for support. They broke off into a half limp, half run as blood started to trickle down to Dean's ankle, with the Angels bringing up the rear.

There was an agonised yell and Gabriel turned to face his downed brother as the beast raised its claw to strike the younger Angel for the second time. Just as the Archangel was about to run back to his fallen brother, there was a yelp from the creature and it stepped back, giving Gabriel enough time to pull Castiel to safety.

A white mouse stood on top of the beast's head, brandishing a thin sword. On the sword was a pierced eyeball, one that belonged to the creature clutching at its face in pain.

"Run!" The clothed mouse shouted as the beast roared in outrage and bucked harshly to try and dislodge its unwanted rider.

The four stood frozen in astonishment before the mouse screeched for them to _"Run!"_ for a second time and they found themselves tearing through the forest; racing, leaping and scrambling over branches and thorns, twisting through trees and darting around rocks, away from the strange beings until they eventually found themselves in an open clearing.

Castiel groaned quietly when the claw marks on his back finally garnered his attention. Gabriel put his hand over the gaping wound to try and heal it, but his diminishing powers barely had any effect and the blood continued to seep out, an angry red rash forming around the sheared skin.

Sam glanced at his own brother, who was favouring his right leg and frowned in concern. They needed help and fast.

"Yer late fer ye tea!"

Sam ducked as what seemed to be a large china cup sailed past his head and smashed into a tree behind him.

He stepped protectively in front of his injured brother as Gabriel did the same for Cas.

"March Hare! Is that any way to treat our beloved guests?" Said a voice that reminded the younger Winchester of Johnny Depp.

There was a _crash_ and it was only at this point did Sam notice the long dinner table in the middle of the clearing. It was draped in a pristine, white tablecloth and there were a multitude of patterned cups, sugar bowls and teapots spread haphazardly on it.

A regular-sized human, or what the group assumed to be human, jumped onto the table and practically _jogged _across its surface, only to spring off and kneel in front of them. He bowed his head, his old top hat hanging onto his bright ginger hair and grinned toothily in greeting, vibrant amber eyes glinting slightly madly as he took them in.

"Welcome to the party! Do you like tea? I hope you do. Say, you're quite tiny, miniscule even! Wish I could lose that much weight, but it's the un-birthdays you see. So much tea; does nothing for your figure! You planning on staying that small or do you want to fill out a little? Not saying that you don't look good, but perhaps a little more chunkiness would do you wonders. Have I offended you? I dearly hope not. Just giving a little advice. My mother always told me to help others when I could so I thought I might-"

"**Hatter!**"

"Help..."

The 'Hatter' whirled around to face his addressor.

"Thankyou Miss. Mallymkin," he choked out in a strained manner.

Dean's eye twitched as the white mouse from before nodded and sat down at the table, where she reached for the smallest cup he'd ever seen and poured herself some tea.

Sam looked to Gabriel for ideas, but the Archangel was just staring blankly at the yellow-eyed man.

"...What is going on here?" Sam ventured to ask as the 'Hatter' poured his own tea into a broken, baseless cup and proceeded to sip at it anyway.

"Tea party," was the succinct reply from all three beings.

"Yes, I can see that but-" he cut himself off when he remembered Dean and Cas' injuries, "It doesn't matter. We need help. Is there a hospital nearby?"

There was an eruption of laughter and the March Hare threw a saucer in their direction.

With no answer forthcoming, Sam started his question again but was smoothly interrupted by a voice seemingly out of thin air.

"You won't get an answer out of them. Mad, the lot of them."

Sam gasped as the grinning face of a cat materialised in front of them. It was ash-coloured with deep emerald eyes that sparkled with mischief as its smile stretched literally from one ear to the other. It glanced deliberately at Dean and the younger Angel before tutting disapprovingly.

"Your friends appear to be in a spot of bother. Let me guess: the Bandersnatch?"

Sam tilted his head, confused as the cat vanished, only to reappear beside Castiel.

"Hmmm...yes. I'd know those claw marks anywhere. It needs to be disinfected by a creature with strong evaporating abilities before it starts to...putrefy." The cat hummed in its silky, baritone voice.

Gabriel practically growled at the now floating cat as he stepped between it and his brother.

The cat smirked with that infuriating attitude, flicked its tail and said "suit yourself", before materialising at the table and pouring himself a cup of tea, two sugars.

Sam crept over to Gabriel and after a moment's consideration, voiced his thoughts.

"We need his help."

Gabriel's jaw dropped. "You're not seriously set on trusting him are you? We don't know what he is or what he wants in return!"

Sam looked down at Cas and Dean.

"We don't have much of a choice. They're in pain and we don't even know where we are or if there are any medical facilities around here."

Gabriel's eyes softened as he took in his brother's aching body.

"Fine."

Sam offered a small smile before running to the cat's chair leg.

"Excuse me? I'm sorry about my friend; he's a little overprotective. Could you-?"

"Changed your mind?" The cat interrupted with a grin.

Sam nodded and before he could blink, the cat was by Castiel's side and pushing him upright so that he could lick gently at the wound. The redness faded almost instantly and even the scratches looked as if they were beginning to heal over. Without missing a beat, the cat padded to Dean's side and bound it with a piece of material he'd ripped from the tablecloth.

Sam raised an eyebrow.

"What? This one's not from the Bandersnatch. Looks like a thorn tear to me. Can't really do much about that," purred the feline.

Sam helped his brother to his feet and nodded his head to the cat in thanks. Dean nodded stiffly as he tried to straighten his leg out.

"If we can't get an answer from them," Deans began as he motioned to the three figures at the table, who had started firing sugar lumps at each other, "Then perhaps you could give us an answer?"

The cat rolled over in mid-air. "The answer to what?"

"Where are we?"

The cat grinned and slowly disappeared, leaving only a toothy smile behind.

"Why my dear child, you're in Underland."

Then he was gone.

Castiel wobbled to his feet with Gabriel holding his hand for support.

"Underland? Where's that? I don't recall hearing about such a place existing on Earth," Castiel said as he tilted his head in his trademark manner.

Sam pursed his lips in thought.

"I don't know about 'Underland', but now I come to think of it, this place kinda reminds me of 'Wonderland'. You know, as in 'Alice in Wonderland'."

Dean frowned and looked at Sam in a way that clearly said '_seriously?_' but Sam ploughed on.

"No, just think about it: Tea parties? The 'March Hare'? The 'Mad Hatter'? And maybe that was-"

"The Cheshire Cat," realised Gabriel.

"Well I don't remember a 'Bandusnitch', or whatever that thing was, being in the cartoon!" Dean scowled.

"Maybe it wasn't," said Sam slowly.

"Maybe it was in the live-action film," announced Gabe. Dean rolled his eyes; of course Gabriel would know about anything pop-culture related.

"Well, how do we get back home?" Castiel asked as he straightened out his leaf.

Silence was his only answer.

"Are you going to answer my question from before, or have you fallen out with me?"

Startled at the sudden appearance of the Mad Hatter at his side, Sam asked, "What question?"

The Hatter grinned and pointed to his right without taking his eyes off the group.

"Ask the White Queen," he said, then turned his back and shuffled to his seat.

"Wait! What Queen? What are you talking about?"

"Spoon." The March Hare replied serenely as he pointed in the same direction as the Hatter had.

Sam squinted in that direction and blinked when he noticed the gleaming white castle on the horizon.

"But how do we get there?"

However, when the younger Winchester turned to the table, everyone was silent as they stared blankly off into the distance. Nothing Team Free Will did could get them out of their stupor, so they begrudgingly set off towards the castle.

Two days later, with nothing to eat other than the oddly coloured berries on the oddly shaped trees and no water in sight, the group found themselves lost, hungry and thirsty. Gabriel and Castiel hadn't realised how far they'd fallen (or how much energy they'd lost in Gabriel's case) and they were feeling decidedly more human than they'd originally thought.

Tired of running from hostile creatures and sick of tripping over the foliage in the never-ending forest, the group sat down to rest.

It was cut short by a large black nose and a short howl.

The four got up weakly to defend themselves but the animal just stood there and watched.

"Who are you?" It demanded in a deep bass voice.

"Lost," replied Sam huskily.

The gigantic Bloodhound cocked its head before asking, "With whom does your allegiance lie?"

Castiel frowned. "What do you mean?"

"Which side of the land do you come from?"

Dean snapped.

"None! Look, we're lost, tired and starving! Two days ago we were told by a mad man with the creepiest eyes I have ever seen and his drugged-up-to-the-ears pet rabbit to search for the 'White Queen' in hopes that maybe, just maybe, we can get back home! And now, I'm having a conversation with a talking dog who is about fifteen times the height of me! We don't even belong here."

The dog's eyes widened in understanding, "You were with the March Hare and the Mad Hatter?"

"Yes," replied Dean, exasperated.

"I see." The dog lowered itself to the ground. "If it is aid you are in search for, then I shall take you to it. Hop on."

The four glanced at each other warily, but after an impatient huff from the animal, climbed onto the dog's back.

"My name is Bayard. I'll take you to the Queen."

And with that, the Bloodhound bounded off towards the castle, his passengers hanging on for dear life.

Two hours had passed when the group finally reached the impressive gates of a rather magnificent castle.

"Bayard!" A voice like honey said as though she was meeting with an old and very dear friend.

"Your Majesty," the dog greeted before allowing his passengers to dismount.

"Who are your friends?"

"They were lost in the forest. They say they don't belong here, much like Alice and that they were seeking your advice."

"And what advice are you in search for, dears?"

A beautiful woman glided gracefully towards them, snowy dress blowing gently in the soft breeze and a stunning silver crown was placed perfectly on top of her feathery white hair.

Dean gulped. "We were hoping that you could...umm... help us find a way back to our home?"

The Queen smiled in a way that made the elder Winchester's stomach perform somersaults.

"Of course. Right this way."

"Yes ma'am."

Sam shoved his brother, who looked at him in a bewildered manner.

"What?"

"Dude, you cannot hit that."

Dean seemed offended. "Sammy! I would never! Why would you even think that?"

The younger Winchester raised an eyebrow. "Because I know you."

Sam, Castiel and Gabriel walked past him, leaving the older Winchester to shrug and wonder how he could get to his proper height and seduce the gorgeous lady.

The Queen led them to the kitchen, where she promptly ducked as she opened the door to avoid a bowl of something green.

Castiel raised an eyebrow. "Is the March Hare here?"

"'Ave some soup, ye wee beastie." Cas dodged another projectile as it sailed through the air.

"I see you forgot to bring the cake." The Queen said pleasantly.

Castiel went stiff as the others looked at her confusedly.

"What cake?" Gabriel asked.

"From the rabbit hole," she replied easily.

Castiel winced; he must have dropped it when they were being chased by the Bandersnatch.

"No, Miss. I'm afraid not. My apologies."

"No matter," she smiled, "I'm sure I can fix something up."

She pulled out a pan and set it on a hob where she boiled some water.

"Now lets see. Liver of a cat, earwax of troll, tail of mouse," she listed as she put one of each into the bubbling pot, "Buttered fingers," she said as she pulled a gnarled finger out of a glass jar.

Dean suddenly changed his mind about wanting to seduce the Queen.

After a few more questionable ingredients, the Queen stirred the mixture and poured a sample into four vials.

It was at this point that a white rabbit with a pocket watch hopped into the kitchen, holding a stack of clothes his arms.

"Your Majesty, excuse me, but I found these in the rabbit hole. Do you have any idea as to who they might belong to?"

The Queen smiled sweetly. "I think I might. Leave them with me, if you would. Thankyou."

The rabbit nodded and left the clothes folded neatly in the corner of the room.

"Yours, I take it?"

The four men nodded disbelievingly.

"The March Hare and I will vacate the room while you change. March Hare, come with me," she said as she retreated through the grand doors.

A few moments of silence passed as the small group tried to wrap their heads around all that had happened in such a short space of time. One minute, they thought they were going to be trapped in a dark and miserable forest for the rest of their existence and then the next minute, they were in a warm, clean kitchen with a generous Queen who appeared to be intent on helping them. Talk about good fortune.

"Bottoms up," grinned Gabe as he downed the vial, not wanting to think too much about anything that had transpired.

Sam sniffed warily at the vial before sipping at the horrific liquid, shivering as he did so. When they had drunk every last drop, the floor seemed to be getting farther away and each man ran to get his clothes before all was revealed to the world. They shucked them on quickly and by the time they had done so, were back to their regular heights.

"This place is weird, man," groaned Dean as he trudged wearily towards the doors.

Having heard him, the Queen laughed. "Lets get you something to eat, then we can see about sending you home."

The four had to admit that they were cautious about the food, considering what had been placed into their vials, but there was no need to be and after a wonderful meal, the Queen supplied each man with another vial, this time each containing a bubbling blue liquid.

"Take a drink and think about home. The liquid will take you where you want to be."

The group gave their thanks and bid farewell as they each emptied the vials.

Only, when they woke up, they weren't expecting their one-man welcoming committee.


	2. Chapter 2

_A/N: I don't own any Judy Garland songs and I apologise for any mistakes with the Spanish later on (I only studied French so I had to use Google Translate and we all know how reliable that is). Please correct me if I have anything drastically wrong! :) _

**_Bedazzled_**

"~Good Morning, good morning,

We've danced the whole night through,

Good Morning, good morning to you~"

Sam groaned as his eyes fluttered open. He had a tremendous headache and his vision was heavily blurred. The others were faring no better as they groggily sat up in order to scan their dark surroundings.

The younger Winchester shook his head, trying to clear it; he was certain that he'd heard someone singing Judy Garland, although it may have just been his ears playing tricks on him; everything else was.

This was worse than one of his infamous hangovers.

"Rise and shine, Sleeping Beauties. You've got a big night ahead of you!"

Gabriel bolted upright; dampened senses or not, he could recognise that voice anywhere.

"Brother," he growled, lowly.

Cas, unsure as to why the older Angel seemed wary of him, turned to face his sibling, only to stop mid-way when he noticed the other all-too-familiar Archangel.

"Lucifer," he gasped, eyes widening in fear. The younger Angel subtly edged towards the two drowsy Winchesters.

The fallen Archangel smirked. "Castiel! Long time no see. How's the old noggin? Still delusional?"

Suddenly, Sam and Dean were on their feet and ready for an attack from the grinning Angel.

"Hello, boys! Bet you didn't expect to be seeing me quite so soon, did you? How's life treating you? Let me guess: Hellish."

"What are you doing here, Lucifer?" Asked Gabriel sharply.

Hell's leader feigned hurt. "What? I'm not allowed to visit my own little brothers?"

"No," snorted the shorter Archangel, "So why are you here? How did you find us?"

Lucifer's features smoothed out and a more serious tone swept over both his voice and what little grace he still possessed.

"I could ask you the same questions."

Gabriel's eyes narrowed. "What are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about how I have no idea where we are, what brought us here or why," sneered Lucifer.

Castiel frowned as he allowed his limited grace to spread around the area they were standing.

"We're on Earth, San Francisco."

"I know that, idiot! But what dimension? What time? I've been here for four human days and I've not been able to find out anything! By the way, welcome back, Gabriel."

The trickster snarled at his brother. "Yeah, thanks for that."

Lucifer rolled his eyes. "I'm only trying to be polite."

Castiel lightly brushed his grace against the shorter Archangel's in an attempt to stop Gabriel from doing something reckless, like lunge for his brother whilst wielding his blade: a thought that was quickly beginning to develop in the Trickster's mind.

"Now, now, boys. We wouldn't want an argument on our hands, would we?" A feminine voice purred in the most alluring tone Dean could ever recall hearing.

Lucifer scowled at the interruption. "Listen sweetheart, I'm going to let you off easy considering you obviously have no idea just whom you are addressing and probably wouldn't believe me if I told you, but I'll give you a warning before things turn nasty: Leave. Now."

The air around Hell's fallen Angel began to crackle with immense energy and bolts of lightning streaked outwards from behind him, highlighting six immense wing shadows as they unfurled from his back. The atmosphere became denser, creating a choking sensation and Lucifer's eyes brightened with a white light as his tattered grace rose within him to make him seem more imposing.

It was a technique used only to threaten and scare; to show off the power he possessed, but the woman, with sparkling blue eyes and wearing an extremely revealing red mini dress, merely smirked.

"Cute trick," she said in that sultry voice, "My turn."

Suddenly, Team Free Will and their one-man welcoming committee were standing on a hot, flat stone with flames rising high above them, licking fiercely at their ankles. Smouldering ash fell from the sky with thick smoke billowing out from the platform they stood on. The air tasted of death and burning whilst the atmosphere rapidly became more and more dense, putting pressure on the Angels' graces (and the humans' lungs) and making them feel even more confined within their vessels.

The three Angels winced slightly when an intense pain that didn't belong to them assaulted their grace, followed by a sense of sorrow and utter despair, which the trio correctly identified as the feelings of souls trapped forever in a never-ending cycle of torture and emotional abuse.

Hell, in other words.

"Who are you?" Shouted Lucifer over the roaring flames, even though the woman was nowhere in sight.

At that moment, a blinding white light darted through the flames, leaving the woman, now the height of the Chrysler building, smirking triumphantly down at them.

"Take a guess, sweet cheeks."

"A scantily-dressed psychopath?" Dean muttered, covering his sweating face as the fire surrounding them started to close in.

The brunette was back to her original size and in front of the elder Winchester in an instant.

"Not quite."

Then she was back to towering over them and wearing an expression which suggested that she saw the small group as nothing more than entertainment. They couldn't help but shift uncomfortably under her gaze.

"Give us a clue?" Gabriel asked, but he already had an idea what the reply would be.

The woman chuckled. "You've got it, kid. That thought, right there, was spot on."

Lucifer frowned, not wanting his assumptions to be proved correct and turned to his brother.

"What? What is she?"

"You already know, brother."

Castiel nodded solemnly at the younger Archangel's words.

Sam and Dean, nonplussed as to what they were witnessing between the three Angels and the powerful lady, glanced at each other before Sam carefully asked "What's going on?"

The woman snapped her fingers and immediately, the group were once again plunged into darkness, their only light source being the street lamps that lined the pavements and the crescent moon, glowing peacefully in the night sky.

The regular-sized woman grinned and sauntered over to Sam.

"A bit slow on the uptake there, handsome. Your buddies seem to have figured it out though, so I'll let you in on a little secret." Here she motioned Dean over with a curl of her finger and leaned in close so she could whisper conspiratorially in their ears.

"I'm the Devil."

Sam and Dean drew back in bewilderment, before looking to Lucifer dressed as Nick and burst into laughter.

"Yeah, right," snorted Dean.

Sam grinned, "So what are you really? Trickster? Pagan God? Crowley in women's wear?"

Dean erupted into laughter once again as the woman frowned at them, unimpressed.

"I _am_ the Devil," she huffed, "Satan, Lucifer, The Prince of Darkness... well, the _Princess_ of Darkness, anyway."

There was a snort from behind her and she whirled to face her male counterpart.

"Is there something you'd like to add?"

Lucifer feigned disinterest, "No, no, not at all. Feel free to continue making a fool of yourself."

The woman raised an eyebrow.

"You don't believe me?"

The Archangel chuckled. "Of _course_ I do. After all, who am _I_ to judge you?" He quipped sarcastically.

The self-proclaimed Devil stormed over to him, high heels echoing loudly on the pavement.

"Who exactly do you think you are? You may not be human, but you certainly can't hold a candle to a _fraction_ of the power that I possess! Now, unless you really are more stupid than you look, I suggest you remain silent for the rest of this conversation."

Lucifer grinned and motioned her closer with a wave of his hand.

"You want to know who _I _am?" He asked before leaning towards her ear in a repeat performance of her earlier actions.

"I'm the Devil." He whispered mockingly.

Something in the atmosphere changed, although it was hard to pinpoint what exactly. Blind fury flashed across the woman's eyes, but it was gone almost as quickly as it had appeared.

"Is that so?" She asked, sultry tone back in place. "Then prove it."

Lucifer snorted. "I don't have to prove anything to you."

The Princess of Darkness smirked. "You're afraid that I'll beat you."

Gabriel mentally face-palmed; if there was anything his brother had a weakness for, it was a challenge.

Lucifer scowled. "You think that a sweet little thing like you could possibly prove to be more powerful than me?"

"I'll tell you what, why don't you experience being the one on the receiving end of my..._games_ and I'll experience being someone on the end of yours and we'll see who has the most... creative imagination?" She asked, a little too innocently for Castiel's liking.

Lucifer grinned in delight as plans for horrific tricks and mind manipulation began to pass through his brain. "Sounds like a deal. Any rules?"

A click of fingers was heard and suddenly, Lucifer was holding a very thick book; the word 'CONTRACT' beautifully inscribed on its cover.

"You must endure the full course of the games, your friends too." At this, Team Free Will practically squawked in protest, unwilling to be part of anything that their Lucifer had in mind, but the woman removed their voices with a wave of her hand.

"No altering of the games. If you are to experience the full affect of this little wager, you are to remain human; no powers and vice versa when it is your time to shine, lest you automatically forfeit."

Lucifer's joyous expression fell a little as he was handed an ornate feathered quill in order to sign on the dotted line at the end of the contract, but quickly returned at the pale faces of the Winchesters.

"Why do we have to be a part of this?" Dean panicked as Lucifer frowned and scanned through the first page of the contract, before giving up due to the ridiculous thickness of it and signed his name.

The woman smiled sweetly and snapped her fingers, making the document evaporate into thin air. "Because I said so, darling. Now, who wants to start?"

Lucifer raised an eyebrow. "Now hold up a minute. Lets make this more interesting."

"After you've signed the contract? I'll have to change it now. What did you have in mind?"

"A prize. If I win, you work for me; you bring me all the souls I ask for, you do all the deeds I desire you to fulfil. You'll practically be my servant."

The woman's face remained impassive. "And what if I win?"

The blond snorted. "In the unlikely event that that happens, what would you like?"

A smirk worked its way onto her face. "_Your_ souls. All five of them."

The fallen Angel laughed internally. That was it? Didn't this idiot know that three of them didn't even have souls?

"Deal."

The woman produced a new contract, this one twice as thick as the original and Lucifer showed no hesitancy when signing it.

Just as before, the woman clicked her fingers and the document disappeared.

"So, who starts?"

Lucifer chuckled and stepped backwards. "Ladies first."

"Aww... How cute. Are you sure, sweetie? You might regret it later."

A cruel upturn of lips graced the blonde's face, but he remained silent, slightly bracing himself for what was to come. He'd get through it, though and what he had planned would be much worse than what this fool could ever even dream of; after all, he possessed twice the power that she did, even in his weakened state...right?

"Excellent. You have seven wishes."

Well, that was unexpected.

"Huh?" Was the intelligent reply.

"You heard me: you have seven wishes. That's my game. What? Did you think I was going to torture you?"

Lucifer rubbed at the back of his neck confusedly, because yeah, that's exactly what he'd thought.

The woman clucked her tongue in annoyance. "That's so outdated. My game is simple; I'll grant you seven wishes. You can ask for anything you want, _anything_ and all I want in return are your piddling little souls. Sounds fair, right?" She paused for a moment, seemingly thinking something over, before correcting herself.

"Well, considering the fact that you three don't actually _have_ souls, I'll have to ask for something else... Oooh, I know... how about your grace?"

The three Angels stiffened.

"That wasn't part of the deal," growled Lucifer.

"You didn't read the contract. Page two-thousand six-hundred and forty-seven, paragraph eight, sub-clause 'C', and I quote: _'If the being, or beings, involved do not own or have access to the desired product of the victor, then the closest, or most similar, product will be taken, providing the victor is satisfied with the results.'"_

The three Angels looked panic-stricken as the Princess of Darkness waved her hand and the book appeared in Lucifer's hands, already opened on the page of the quotation.

"And if I'm correct, which I usually am, the closest or most similar product to a human's soul for you is your grace."

"But-" Lucifer began but was cut off by his counterpart.

"Sorry darling, a deal's a deal." She tilted her head at him. "But you knew that."

"Here," she said as she tossed him a small device. "It's a pager; if you want to make a wish, give me a call."

And just like that, she vanished.

Lucifer continued to stare at the spot she'd been occupying until a growl made him turn around.

"You _idiot_!" Gabriel snarled, startling his brothers and the Winchesters.

"You sold us to the Devil!"

"I _am _the Devil!"

"This world's Devil!"

"But there's only one!"

"Well, apparently not!"

Lucifer opened his mouth to argue, but promptly shut it upon realising he had nothing to say.

"Look," sighed Gabriel as he felt the beginnings of a headache coming on. "If you don't use all the wishes, she can't take our grace and souls. You could ask her to send us all back home to our dimension, or whatever and she wouldn't be able to bother us there."

Although Lucifer was loath to admit it, his brother had a point, but he still made sure to frown as he pressed the 'call' button on the paging device.

"That was quick," the woman commented, now sporting a long, red evening gown, spattered with diamonds.

"I want to make my first wish."

"As long as it's nothing to do with cancelling the contract, then it's fine."

The corners of Lucifer's mouth turned downwards; the thought had crossed his mind.

"I wish you'd send me back home."

Team Free Will gasped collectively; what happened to _all_ of them returning to their world?

"Oooh, sneaky. Leaving those four behind? You're my kind of man. Your wish is my command," she grinned as she snapped her fingers and Lucifer's view of the dark street faded to black.

* * *

When the fallen Angel awoke, he was alone in a large white room and lying on a cold marble floor. He rubbed at his pounding head and groaned.

Ugh... He felt so human.

When he climbed to his feet, he noticed the king-sized bed, the wardrobes fit for royalty and the massive arch windows surrounding the circular room. He staggered over to one and looked over the beautiful garden with no end to it in sight. Streams flowed lazily over the landscape, winding their way around trees, flowers and even a small, covered pavilion.

"¿Dónde estoy?" Lucifer's eyes widened at his own words. That was weird.

Suddenly, there was a knock on the door and Lucifer turned to see a harsh-faced man stride into the room.

"Sir, Señor Ramando está esperando fuera para usted. Él no está contento con el producto."

Lucifer scowled. Why did that woman think it was a good idea to send him to Colombia? When he said 'home', he assumed she was going to send him back to the U.S.A considering that was where he was before he appeared in that other world.

Ignoring the fact that this man seemed to recognise him, even though his vessel had not changed in appearance, Lucifer strolled past him wordlessly towards the door, leaving the confused man standing in the centre of the room.

"Señor Andres, Estoy muy decepcionado con la calidad de su productos!"

Lucifer raised an eyebrow at the hostile tone of the muscular, tanned man in front of him.

"Producto? Quién es usted?"

Hell's Angel pulled a face. Although he could speak any language, he was finding this particular one from this particular human irritating. Maybe if he found some pretty Spanish women, it may change his view on the language...

He smirked and snapped his fingers, changing the native language to English until he saw fit to set it back to normal.

Wait... if he was back on his world, technically he shouldn't possess the power to change a whole country's native tongue, not after the fall of all the Angels.

Lucifer froze.

Where was he?

"Mr. Andres!" Shouted a voice with a tint of Spanish accent. "Are you listening to me? What are you going to do about this product?"

Lucifer's eyes rose to meet the small, clear plastic bag that the tanned man was holding. It contained a white powdery substance.

"What would you like me to do about it?" He strained through gritted teeth.

"Refund it. I want my three million back! I'll take my custom elsewhere."

The Angel couldn't believe he'd been double-crossed. When he next saw that woman, he was going to slice her throat open, deal or no.

But for now, at least he could have some fun antagonizing this poor soul.

"No."

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me. You made the deal, no refunds."

Suddenly, the man pulled a gun on him.

"What did you say to me?"

Lucifer chuckled. "What? Are you deaf? The answer's no." A subtle flick of his wrist and Lucifer had jammed the barrel of the gun; if he had abilities, he was going to use them.

The man didn't hesitate as he pulled the trigger, only to find that nothing happened.

A burst of laughter erupted from Lucifer as the man looked down the barrel and that was the precise moment that the fallen Angel unblocked it. Before the bullet could lodge itself between the man's eyebrows, time seemed to stop and Lucifer was staring across the room at his counterpart.

"I thought we agreed to no altering of these games, however small," she hummed as she traced a finger around the casing of the bullet suspended in mid-air a mere three centimetres away from its target.

"You didn't grant my wish. So by default, you forfeit."

She smiled disarmingly. "Actually, I did. You just weren't all that specific."

At Lucifer's questioning stare, she continued. "You said _'home'_, but you neglected to mention whose home and you certainly never mentioned anything about an alternate universe. Oh, yes. I can tell you're not from around here. You may be the Devil in your own world, but you certainly don't belong in this one."

Lucifer glared at her with all the contempt he could muster.

"Don't look at me like that. I never said I was going to make it easy for you." She walked to one of the magnificent windows in the long corridor.

"Your friends are fine by the way."

"They're not my friends."

"I thought they were your brothers, or at least some of them."

"Doesn't mean we like each other."

"Hmm. You can be extremely childish, you know that?"

"So I've been told."

"Right then, I'm willing to overlook your little mistake, mainly because I have nothing much better to do and we can continue with our plans, so long as you don't mess anything else up. Let us return to your group and you can make another wish, but make it quick because I have a party to attend." She raised her hand and clicked he fingers and the duo soon found themselves facing a red-faced Gabriel.

"Why you big bag of-"

"Save it, Shrimpy. Your brother has learned his lesson. Or at least _a_ lesson."

"What did you do to him?" Castiel dared to ask.

"Made him a Columbian drug Lord."

Dean raised his eyebrows in surprise. "...Why?"

"He knows why. Need anything else, darling?" She asked as she glanced to her counterpart.

"Actually, yes. I wish to return to _my _hell, on _my_ planet and in _my_ time and dimension."

He had to step back to stop Gabriel from wringing his neck.

"As you wish."

Once again, the world faded from view.

* * *

When Lucifer cracked his eyes open, grinned in delight at the familiar surroundings. Demons and their smoke were parading up and down the cold corridors and there was no Crowley in sight. He relaxed as he sauntered through Hell, only stopping when he realised that there was no screaming echoing down the dark halls. He frowned and made his way to the Rack, freezing when the scent of cinnamon wafted up to his nose.

_What the-?_

At that moment, a Demon materialised before him, sporting a face-splitting grin. He also appeared to be wearing oven mitts and a sparkly apron.

"Good morning, Sir! The Rack is working more efficiently than ever and everyone seems to be in a chipper mood today. Would you like to try out our produce?"

Lucifer was still struggling to comprehend the fact that one of his creations was wearing a glittery 'Home Is Where The Pie Is' apron _and was doing nothing about it._

He followed the Demon into the area where the Rack would normally be located and his jaw went slack.

The 'Rack' was an oversized oven rack.

Was that Alistair stirring cookie dough?

Lucifer rubbed at his eyes in disbelief. This was not his Hell!

He grabbed the nearest Demon by the apron and hauled her up by her straps so that she was at eye level with him. She dropped the tray of pastries in fear and production came to a halt around him.

"What is going on here?!" He roared as the Demon, Meg, shrank back, terrified.

"S-s-sorry, S-sir. D-d-did you w-want a d-d-different kind of p-pastry?"

"I don't care about the pastries," he growled quietly. "I care about what you've done to MY HELL!"

"Have the unicorns not been producing enough rainbows, Sir?" The first Demon asked, cowering slightly as Lucifer's gaze was turned sharply onto him.

"...What?"

"The unicor-" He was cut off as the Angel wrapped a hand around his throat and snapped it clean.

There was a gasp from his audience and when he observed the room, no Demon made eye contact.

"Lilith!" He barked when he spotted the supposedly dead Demon, holding an icing tube, no less.

"Mind explaining to me why there are no screams of agony or cries of torture reaching my ears at this moment in time?"

Lilith gulped. "I-I-I don't understand, S-Sir."

"Where are the Hellhounds? I should set the whole lot in here to rid myself of this...mockery," he spat.

Lilith frowned. "What good will that do?"

Lucifer narrowed his eyes and stalked towards the ignorant Demon, only to startle when an innocent '_yap_' sounded behind him.

He slowly turned to face the interruption and found himself staring down at a young Yorkshire terrier puppy with a pink bow resting on its head.

"...What is that?"

"Hellhound."

The puppy wagged its tail, tongue lolling contentedly from its mouth.

"Kill it."

Lilith's mouth dropped, but it quickly snapped shut and she pranced, actually _pranced_, to the small dog and held it close to her chest.

"That's it, Sir. I think you need a time out."

Lucifer's face performed an odd movement as he tried to stay calm.

"A time out?"

"Yes, I think so. You've obviously had a bad day and I believe you should cool off in the meditation room. Go sit on one of the beanbags, you know, the one beside that big lava lamp and have a cuddle with Mr. McStuffins. You'll feel much better."

Lucifer fixed the Demon with a blank stare that lasted for three minutes.

"...Sir?"

He wordlessly pushed past her and left through the door he had entered by. He wandered aimlessly down the corridors, wincing mentally when he heard happy laughter float from one of the prison cells and barely managed to stay sane when he witnessed two Demons, Ruby and Azazel, pillow-fighting, a Jack Russell puppy yipping excitedly between them. When he finally found a quiet corner, he stared emotionlessly at the bright pink and blue wall, glitter spattered across it.

After two hours of not moving, he refused to react to the presence of his counterpart.

"You look like a bundle of laughs."

Lucifer blinked slowly.

"Not enjoying the fun?"

Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed she was wearing a pair of fluffy, red Angel wings and a pair of Devil horns. She was also holding a freshly baked croissant.

He sighed, defeated.

"Wanna go home, big boy?"

She received a mute nod and placed her hand on his shoulder. Instantly, they were standing in the dark street. Time seemed to pass more slowly here as he felt like he had been away for hours, yet it appeared that scarcely an hour had gone by. Gabriel was looking as though he wanted to murder him though, so at least he knew that he was away from that horrific place.

"Why?" The word seemed so broken and it took Team Free Will by surprise, going so far as to make Gabriel's features soften in concern.

"You asked for _your _Hell. That's what you got."

"I meant my home!" Whined Lucifer. "Not that twisted place."

"Oh, I'm sorry. I guess you weren't specific enough."

Lucifer's anger returned quickly as he snarled at his counterpart.

"You manipulated my words."

"Your words were too vague. How was I supposed to know what you really wanted?"

Lucifer lunged at her, Angel blade outstretched.

She tsked and disappeared before the blade could make contact.

"Real smart, brother."

"Shut it, Gabriel."

"What are you going to do now? Wish upon a star and hope she takes pity on you?"

"She has to return, moron, otherwise she'd forfeit the game and I'd win our little wager."

Sam touched Gabriel's shoulder to stop him from arguing. It wouldn't do to aggravate Lucifer when he was their only ticket back home if he was the one making the wishes. The Archangel complied, albeit reluctantly.

The five booked into a motel (separate rooms of course), the Devil not bothering to hide his disgust and bunked down for the night. No more wishes were made that night and Lucifer, becoming more human by the day, experienced his first nightmares, which consisted of unicorns, rainbows and sparkly puppies.

They woke up the next morning feeling restless and worried about how they were going to return home.

Dean yelped in surprise when he exited the shower and saw Satan, clad in a cherry bikini, sitting on the sink counter.

"I was coming for Lucifer, but I'm glad I made the detour," she winked as she, very deliberately, glanced below the hunter's waist.

Dean yanked the towel from the rail and hid himself from view, his cheeks burning the same colour as his guest's outfit.

She laughed and slid off the counter, giving him a once-over as she stepped through the door.

When he finally shuffled out of the bathroom, fully clothed, Lucifer was staring at Sam contemplatively, similar to how a cat would stare with interest at a trapped mouse.

A shiver ran up Dean's spine.

"Him," Lucifer stated as he pointed to the youngest Winchester.

Sam paled.

"I want him. He has always been my true vessel, yet I have had difficulties in procuring his permission. With you here, I don't need it. I wish for Sam Winchester to be under my control as my vessel."

"Of course."

Dean sprinted towards the Archangel with Gabriel and Castiel shouting in alarm, but it was too late and both Sam and Lucifer disappeared.

* * *

Lucifer didn't even know why he had hoped for this wish to turn out in his favour.

He was currently standing on the bridge of a large cruise liner, wearing a uniform that clearly stated he was the Captain. He took off his hat and sighed, drumming his fingers across the console as he looked over the vast expanse of ocean.

The automated co-pilot activated and a very familiar voice spoke directly to Lucifer.

"Happy?"

"Shut up."

The system heaved out an exasperated sigh.

"What is it with you Archangels and turning people into transport devices? Your brother did exactly the same thing to me about four years ago."

"I heard. Turned you into your brother's car, didn't he?"

"Yeah."

"How was it?"

"Confining."

"Is this any better?"

"Not really. I guess it's more roomy, but I can feel three thousand people walking across my decks. I think the strangest feeling is when someone uses the toilet."

"Huh. Can you feel people using the pool?"

"Sort of. I think the water is dulling the sensation."

"What about the ocean? What's that like?"

"Soothing. Although the fish keep bumping into me."

"Hmm."

A few moments of silence passed between them.

"You know, when I said I wanted to be in control of your vessel, this wasn't exactly what I had in mind."

"I figured."

There was a flash of bright white light and then Lucifer and Sam were standing in the Winchester's motel room.

The Princess of Darkness was grinning smugly at the pair.

"So how was S.S. Sam Winchester?"

"Roomy," the two answered in unison.

Dean glanced at them as though they both belonged in a mental asylum. Castiel and Gabriel didn't want to know what had transgressed in the last twenty minutes.

"Four wishes left. Give me a call when you want me." With that she vanished.

"So, any ideas on how to get out of here?" Asked Sam casually, having got over being disturbed with the knowledge that Lucifer had practically been inside him.

"Well, big brother could stop wasting his wishes and actually pretend to care about his family for once," quipped Gabriel.

Lucifer rolled his eyes.

"You aren't exactly progressing when you're using the wishes to help yourself. Maybe if you include us all, we might be able to figure something out?" Suggested Sam; more comfortable with the notion that Satan could get weary just like any other being.

Lucifer had given up arguing. He merely nodded his head in agreement and waited for an explanation.

Gabriel raised an eyebrow at his brother's tired expression as Sam continued.

"Alright, so we can't alter the rules or make any wishes that may try to counteract the contract. But I don't recall her ever saying that we couldn't postpone our final wish indefinitely. Here's an idea, why don't you try asking for all of us, as in you, me, Dean, Gabriel and Castiel, to be transported back to our home world. Give a state name and make sure you say 'in the United States of America'. Be specific about the date and precise time and make sure to add that you wish that when we get there, she can never bother us again and that she can have no contact with our world. Got all that?"

Lucifer nodded and pressed the button on the pager.

"I was at the beach! Did you really have to bother me so soon? What do you want this time?"

"I wish for Sam Winchester, Dean Winchester, the Archangel Gabriel, the Angel Castiel and myself to be transported to Michigan, U.S.A, Earth of our home world in the year 2014, on the date of the sixth of March at the precise time of eight a.m. and at the moment we leave this room, you will no longer be able to contact us or I, you."

The woman seemed to be analysing every word Lucifer had uttered in her head, before her face turned into an ugly scowl and she raised her hand furiously before spitting out the words: "You never said which dimension."

Then she snapped her fingers harshly and the world went black.


	3. Chapter 3

_A/N: Apologies for the bit of crack in the last chapter! Because in Season 8 Crowley was left tied to a chair, I'm writing this as though he escaped somewhere between the end of that Season and now (even though I have seen clips of Season 9). This is going to be a looooong one, so buckle up and enjoy the ride. ;)_

_WARNING: A bit of violence at the end._

**_Coraline_**

A rough, wet surface brushed over Castiel's face and he grimaced as he wiped the back of his hand across his damp features.

He sat up slowly and glanced about his surroundings, the grey mist obstructing his view of the hilly landscape. A quiet _mewl _focused his attention on the black feline staring curiously up at him. He pressed his hand gently to the cat's head and it purred in delight as it scent marked him.

"Where are we?" A voice groaned from behind, accompanied by the sound of stiff bones cracking as they realigned themselves.

"I'm not sure," replied Castiel, still stroking the sapphire-eyed cat.

"I thought we were supposed to be in Michigan," interjected another voice, Sam, if Castiel had to guess.

"Key word being 'supposed'. I don't like how that woman mentioned something about other dimensions. Doest that mean we are where we wanted to be, just not in our dimension?" Dean asked.

Castiel frowned as the cat's eyes widened as if it understood them and was shocked at what it was hearing.

"Great," moaned Lucifer as he fell back down onto his back, his hands coming to rest on his face.

Gabriel chuckled. "Well, A for effort, big brother."

Lucifer let out a tortured groan.

Sam smiled slightly. Sometimes it was hard to believe that these two were a pair of very powerful Archangels that could kill with a wave of their hands and not just two rather childish brothers. He was pulled out of his musings by Castiel's head tilt and suspicious _'hmmmm'_.

"Something wrong, Cas?"

The Angel didn't reply, instead he moved to the side to allow the rest of the group to view their furry visitor, who was crouching low to the ground with a strange expression marring its features, as if ready to sprint off.

Confused, Sam said "What? It's just a cat."

Castiel shook his head. "I think it can understand us."

Lucifer peeked at the cat and Angel from behind a finger. "You feeling alright?"

Gabriel edged closer to Cas. "What makes you think that?"

The cat glanced between the pair then jumped up and ran into the mist, disappearing from view.

Castiel looked disappointed.

"Huh. Guess that solves that issue," mused Gabriel.

The group climbed to their feet, Lucifer taking longer than necessary and glanced about the silent hills. Everything seemed dull and dreary as if the colours had been muted and there was a semi-realistic aspect to the world, as if an artist had painted them on his canvas.

"Well this isn't creepy," muttered Dean.

"There's no movement anywhere." Sam noted as he glanced to the lifeless trees. There was no breeze or creatures moving through the soil or trees; it was if the whole world was frozen in place.

Sam shivered involuntarily. He had a bad feeling about this.

"Well, no point in standing around here and staring all day," grinned Gabriel, his curiousness getting the better of him. "Why don't we try going up there?"

Dean followed his line of sight and raised his eyebrows at the grey house resting solemnly on a hilltop. There was no light coming from the windows and the chimney didn't seem to be functioning.

"You're kidding, right?"

Gabriel shook his head with a smile. "Nope. C'mon, kiddo."

Dean's eyes bugged out of his head when the short Angel jogged over to the base of the hill.

"You coming or not?"

The remaining four glanced at each other before they decided to join the Archangel.

Twenty minutes later saw the rag-tag group at the steps of the house, glancing over the dead garden. Just as they were about to knock on the door, there was a _thud _and a _yowl_, heralding the return of the mysterious feline.

The five turned to face the creature. It was scowling at them and had presented something at their feet.

"Ugh. Dolls always creep me out," moaned Dean as Sam picked up the dirty rag-doll to inspect it.

He frowned as he showed it to the others. "Does this look familiar to you?"

It was in the form of a pale human male with short, black hair. It wore a black suit, complete with a matching tie and had gleaming black buttons in place of its eyes.

"Actually, now that you mention it, it kinda looks like Crowley."

Gabriel, Sam and Lucifer all made hums of agreement, but Castiel's attention was focused elsewhere.

The cat was nodding at him.

Castiel frowned as he kneeled to get closer to the feline. "Can you understand us?"

The cat nodded slowly at him.

The Angel raised both eyebrows. "Is this Crowley?"

Another nod.

"Is he here?"

Once again, he received confirmation.

"Could you show us where?"

The cat quickly glanced over the Castiel's shoulder and into the house, without moving his head, before returning his gaze to the Angel.

"In there?"

Another nod.

"Thankyou." And with that, he got to his feet and began to walk towards the front door, only for the cat to step smoothly in his way.

He frowned disapprovingly at it. "Let me past."

It shook its head, no.

The Angel let out a sigh and bent down to pick up the feline, moving it out of the way. It looked faintly offended. He then gripped the door handle tight and was just about to heave it open when Dean coughed from behind.

"Errr... Cas? What are you doing?"

"Finding Crowley. Isn't it obvious?"

"Well, yeah. But... why?"

"He must be in trouble."

This time, Sam spoke up. "How'd you deduce that?"

"The feline wouldn't let me pass, therefore it mustn't want me to come into contact with something, or possibly someone."

"How do you know that that 'someone' isn't Crowley himself?"

"The cat wouldn't have told us he was here if that was its intention."

"Still, why do you want to help him? He's been nothing but trouble to us."

"If something is holding the King of Hell captive, don't you think it will possess more than enough power to send us back to our world?"

Sam glanced to Dean; you can't argue with that logic.

"Alright then. Lead the way, brother," Gabriel said as he gestured to the door.

The five pushed inside the dark, damp house and took in their surroundings. The floorboards were cracked and broken, doors hanging haphazardly from their hinges, dead plants littered the small, mouldy windows and the once impressive chandelier hung loosely from its socket; many of the glass features chipped or smashed.

"Well this looks..." trailed off Sam.

"Depressing?" Snorted Lucifer.

All five startled when there was a faint _bang_ from upstairs.

"What was that?" Asked Dean.

"Dunno. Wanna go check it out?" Grinned Gabriel as he raced up the creaky stairs.

Dean shook his head in disbelief. "Does he really want to die that badly?"

"I used to ask him that all the time," sighed Lucifer as he began to follow his hyperactive sibling, mind obviously replaying memories of his home in earlier days.

Castiel held back, allowing the Winchesters to catch up. "He is an Archangel. There is very little that can harm him and even less that can actually kill him. I guess this is just a big adventure for him."

"He doesn't know what this thing is that's holding Crowley, providing there _is _something. It may be one of those few things that _can_ kill him!" Dean hissed.

"He has been dead for almost four years. He feels as though he's been given a second chance and he isn't going to waste it."

Sam and Dean dropped the subject.

It had been hard accepting the formerly dead Archangel into their little team at first. When he had shown up on the Bunker's doorstep, Dean had immediately reached for the demon knife, even though he knew it would do them no good if the Archangel's intentions were to harm them. Although the brothers were grateful for what Gabriel had done for them back at the hotel filled with Pagan Gods, it was still difficult to trust someone who had originally been all for making sure that the Winchesters played their parts in the Apocalypse, even if it would kill at least half of the planet's population.

Gabriel didn't seem too pleased by his current situation either. Whether it was the fact that Dean had already shown that he wasn't willing to trust the Angel by reaching for the knife, or whether he was confused as to why he was alive yet could feel his grace diminishing to a fraction of what it once was, thereby cutting him off from heaven, still remained a mystery. What was apparent was that the Archangel was irritated and in no state to be fooled around with. He had snarled at Dean and pushed into the base, leaving the two Winchesters more wary than ever and ready for an attack. Sam had sent a silent prayer to Cas and the last third of Team Free Will had been by his friend's sides within milliseconds, his Angel blade falling from his trench coat sleeve just as quickly.

The youngest Archangel had narrowed his eyes, his own blade falling into his hand as he sized his rival up. However, after two minutes of no movement, Gabriel had placed his blade carefully onto the floor, all the while never taking his eyes off the three other beings in the room and backed away from the weapon. Castiel did not relax. He didn't trust the Archangel enough to let him be in the same room as the Winchesters; every time the three had been together, the two humans had been put into danger, even going so far as to kill the eldest one off multiple times. Not to mention that Castiel himself had been harmed when at the hands of the other Angel. Granted, Gabriel was trying to teach the brothers a lesson to bring his own family peace and he had learned an important lesson about humans the last time they had met (even if it did end the Archangel's life), but that didn't mean to say that Gabriel wouldn't hurt the Winchesters, especially if he had taken one of his brother's sides. He may not have been fond of Lucifer's morals, but he had been rather quiet on the topic of Michael, so Cas kept his guard up, shielding the Winchesters and protecting them from any possible harm.

Ironically, Gabriel was thinking a similar thing about Castiel. He was fearful of the idea that Castiel would be like all the other Angels waging a war in heaven (as he didn't yet know that they had all fallen). He didn't want to be forced to pick one of his brothers over the other and while he knew that it was unlikely that Castiel would be like his brethren, considering the fact that he had rebelled in order to help two humans, it was difficult to expel the mistrust of others after it had been so deeply rooted for many millennia. It didn't help that the younger Angel was holding a blade in Gabriel's direction.

Eventually, when it was clear that neither side was going to relent happily, Gabriel had glared at the others and ground out "Well? Is anyone going to tell me why I'm here right now?"

To which Dean replied "Funny, I was going to ask the same question."

A few more heated glares were exchanged before Castiel lowered his weapon slightly.

"Why _are_ you here Gabriel?"

"I assumed you lot would know something about how I was randomly revived and suddenly falling from grace. I'm beginning to grow concerned about the fact that maybe I was wrong and maybe you morons have no idea what's going on."

Dean stiffened, seriously considering the thought of lunging at their unwanted visitor, prompting Sam to hold him back, even though he wasn't faring much better. Gabriel noticed this and glanced to his knife.

Castiel was the one to bring the conversation back on track, but Gabriel noted that he had raised his weapon a little higher, as if preparing for a violent assault. The stunted and highly awkward conversation led to talk about how the Angels were falling, which caught Gabriel completely off guard, although at the end, they were no closer to finding out just why, or even how the ex-Trickster was back on his feet. It was weeks later when they came up with the theory of each Angel's grace leaking into the ground or interfering with the atmosphere to cause the unthinkable to occur, such as raising the dead.

The night that Gabriel had turned up at the Winchester's doorstep was also the night that he had flown from the Bunker in a rage over the fact that he had no more answers than when he first came. He silently vowed to never contact Team Free Will again for as long as he lived. It lasted two weeks. With no family waiting for him and not feeling like returning back into hiding for another few centuries as a Trickster, Gabriel was out of options. He was tired of being alone, tired of the fighting and extremely tired of people and other beings trying to kill him. So, with great consternation, Gabriel tracked Castiel's dwindling grace and found himself facing an entire nest of Demons. He internally cursed the other Angel's luck and readied his weapon as three Demons charged him. After fighting his way through fifteen of the creatures, he finally spotted a dishevelled Sam, who seemed to be huddled protectively over something that resembled a body, but was far too still to be natural. Castiel, looking worse for wear and pouring with blood, was standing directly in front of the two, knife poised to take down the thirty Demons grinning madly at him, a few holding what appeared to be stolen Angel blades. If the Angels were actually falling, it would be the perfect opportunity for Demons to steal their weapons whilst they were at their weakest.

Gabriel weighed up the pros and cons. Nobody seemed to have spotted him yet as they were too busy focusing on each other. If he wanted to disappear, he could do it right now. On the other hand, Castiel looked like he wouldn't be able to stand too much more of a beating and Sam wouldn't be able to fend off those Demons by himself, especially if that was Dean who he was huddled over.

Still... why should he care about two humans and a rebellious Angel who had no problems in threatening him just two weeks ago?

_'Because these are the beings that taught you about free will and doing what's right instead of what's easy,' _his treacherous mind insisted.

The Archangel huffed and glided into the room, making sure that nobody knew of his presence. A few moments later there were twelve bodies at Castiel's and Gabriel's feet, the other eighteen having panicked and retreated to somewhere else.

Castiel's chest heaved in and out violently as he glared at Gabriel mistrustfully. The Archangel pursed his lips unhappily and focused his gaze on the Winchesters, who were both staring up at him as if terrified that he would turn his blade on them.

Gabriel frowned. "Well, are you going to let me take a look at him or not?"

Dean, realising that the ex-Trickster was referring to him, glanced at the blood-soaked Archangel from his position on the floor and tried to shake his head, no, but this aggravated the pains shooting up his body, so he remained still.

Gabriel, thinking that Dean's stillness equated to a 'yes', moved closer to the broken Winchester, only pausing when he sensed Castiel's hand reach out as if to stop him, but dropping back to its owner's side when he thought that the older Angel was being sincere.

Gabriel crouched next to the brothers, Sam's eyes on him intently, searching for any reason to protect his sibling.

"I may be falling from grace, but I still have enough juice to heal some of your more agonising wounds," said Gabriel softly, as he pressed a gentle hand to Dean's abdomen; white light streaming out of it and into Dean's body. Dean let out a small groan when he felt his bones begin to re-knit themselves together and some of the more intensive gashes heal over.

Gabriel could feel his younger brother hovering by his side, checking on Dean's progress and ensuring that the other Angel wasn't going to try anything. Satisfied, he moved to Sam, trying to take care of the younger Winchester's wounds as best he could whilst Gabriel worked on Dean.

That was how the group found themselves back at the Bunker; exhausted and sore.

"Why'd you help us?" Sam had asked.

Gabriel answered with "I just did, okay?" and refused to say any more on the topic as he once again flew away from the safe haven.

The relationship between Team Free Will and the ex-Trickster grew after that. At first, it was fragile and tentative, with Gabriel popping in once every two weeks when the trio got into trouble with a pack of Demons, or a particularly slippery Shapeshifter, even one or two Vampires. Those once-every-two-week visits soon morphed into once every week, with the Archangel bringing titbits of information on the latest case or news on the falling Angels.

A few weeks later, Gabriel was visiting three and four times each week, with the Winchesters and Castiel starting to depend on the information he brought and unconsciously beginning to enjoy the bubbly Archangel's company and vice versa.

Four months after Gabriel had first appeared on the Bunker's doorstep saw Gabriel fighting back tears and a warmth that had bloomed in his chest upon seeing one of the spare rooms cosily furnished with a wooden bed, soft lighting, a small wooden wardrobe and a bubble-gum machine courtesy of Sam and Castiel. Dean had gone so far as to hook up a tiny radiator to ensure that the Archangel would be warm now that he needed to sleep.

It wasn't much, but it was more than anyone had ever done for the youngest Archangel in a very long time; his own brothers and sisters hadn't even bothered to search for him when he'd run away from heaven and yet here were two humans, one he'd killed hundreds of times over and the other he'd tortured in doing so and an Angel he hadn't been particularly kind to, who were willing to welcome him into their home. He couldn't understand why they'd do that for him, so he did the only thing he could think of when faced with such a situation.

He fled.

Dean cursed and stomped off to his room, slamming the door behind him. Sam sighed and trudged off to his brother, hoping to explain why Gabriel would run off like that.

Castiel tracked his older brother and followed him to Norway. He spotted him sitting atop a large mountain overlooking the impressive Fjords, with his knees pulled up to his chest. Castiel wandered over and sat beside him wordlessly. Two hours of watching birds soaring over the waves and a couple of whales later, Gabriel broke the silence.

"I'm sorry."

Castiel remained quiet but glanced at his brother to show he was listening.

"You've got to understand that it's been a lifetime since anyone showed me any kindness that doesn't require me to do them some favour." His mind wandered back to the Pagan Gods and his short time with Kali.

Castiel nodded but never took his eyes off his brother.

"Thankyou. I really do appreciate it." Gabriel's voice sounded smaller than the young Angel could ever remember hearing it and he placed a supportive hand on his brother's shoulder.

Suddenly, Castiel found himself with a lap full of teary-eyed Archangel burying his face into his shirt.

Cas wrapped his arms around his brother and nuzzled into his hair, startling slightly when he felt six warm wings curl around his body.

"I shouldn't have run," mumbled Gabe, as he pressed closer to his sibling. "I guess I got a little..."

"Overwhelmed?" Castiel asked, receiving a minute nod.

They stayed like that for an hour, Gabe basking in the comfort that at least one of his brothers still loved him and Cas content with the knowledge that one of his brothers was fighting on the side of the humans.

When they returned to the Bunker that evening, Dean and Sam were relaxing in the living room, chatting idly as the television provided a soothing background noise. They both turned to face the two Angels and were surprised when Gabriel leapt at them, crushing them in a bear hug.

"Thankyou," he whispered as they patted his back awkwardly. When he released them, they glanced at him in confusion.

"For giving me a home," he said simply, a tender expression crossing his face.

Cas smiled widely while the humans blinked in unison, unsure of how to respond to that heartfelt announcement. Then Gabriel was back to his old self, grinning from ear to ear and snapping up a chocolate bar.

"I'm gonna check out how much pressure those bed springs can withstand. After all, have to work out how much freak I can get on with the ladies." And with a wiggle of eyebrows, he was gone, leaving a twitching Dean and mentally scarred Sam behind.

But they were both secretly pleased that Gabriel liked their gift, even if it had led to a _'chick-flick' _moment.

The month proceeding that saw Gabriel with his brother and the Winchesters every day. He helped with all their hunts and did his best to heal them when they were injured. He followed them everywhere and became an invaluable part of their team, which led to the present day, with Dean, Sam and Lucifer trudging up the rickety, old stairs to catch up to the excitable Archangel.

When they finally reached the room they'd heard him run into, they were alarmed to find it empty.

"Gabe?" Called Sam warily, as he reached for the demon knife in his pocket.

Castiel and Lucifer released their blades and Dean gripped his gun tightly.

"Gabriel?" Cas tried as he attempted to search for his brother using his weakening grace, only to be horrified when he realised he couldn't feel it at all; Lucifer's eyes widened in fear when he discovered that his own grace had also diminished to nothing.

"Yeah?"

Sam breathed out a sigh of relief when the familiar voice answered from behind a rotting wardrobe.

"Gabe, what are you doing?"

"Looking for clues."

"Find anything, Scooby?" Dean huffed whilst keeping an eye on the blue-eyed Angel, who seemed to be having an internal panic-attack.

"See for yourselves." You could practically hear the smug grin.

The Winchesters moved closer to the Trickster, feeling slightly concerned that the other two Angels had yet to move. When they peaked around the corner of the wardrobe, they were startled to find a small open door, barely large enough for a dog to fit through, facing them. Behind the door lay a long tunnel, to which the end was not visible. Deep violet hues and royal blue shades swirled around each other, pinks, reds and purples fighting for dominance within the tunnel's walls, confusing Dean and Sam's simple human eyes.

Dean squeezed his eyes shut as the colours began to play tricks with his vision and Sam had to look away when a headache made itself known.

"Hey, guys! Come and take a look at this!" Gabriel called to his brothers, child-like excitement infecting his tone.

When there was no response, the Archangel poked his head around the wardrobe and frowned in confusion when he saw the other Angels standing frozen in the middle of the room.

"You okay?"

Castiel's eyes flickered to Gabriel and he shook his head disjointedly. Lucifer looked terrified.

"Can you feel it?"

Gabe blinked at the unexpected question.

"Feel what?"

"Exactly!" Lucifer yelled, apparently free from his stupor.

"Your grace," clarified Castiel as he tried not to panic at the group's helpless state. If something were to attack them at that precise moment, they would have to fight human-style.

"What about it?"

"Can you feel it?"

There was a pause as Gabriel's expression crossed from amused to stunned to fearful as he tested the strength of his grace. That was the point that Dean and Sam chose to peek around the wardrobe to see what all the fuss was about.

"What's wrong?" Sam asked, concerned at the lack of noise.

"...My grace... it's gone." Gabriel shook his head in disbelief. "All of it... I can't feel a thing."

The Winchesters' eyes widened in alarm.

"Surely it shouldn't have disappeared that quickly!" Dean blurted.

The three Angels didn't reply and a few minutes of silence passed before a quiet tapping sound made the group jump.

Dean sprinted to the tiny door and caught a glimpse of something metallic crawling into the darkness of the other end of the tunnel.

"Well, we may not know how you're suddenly out of juice, but I've got a pretty good idea on what might have something to do with it," growled Dean as he glared into the blackness. "Something just ran through this door."

"We've got to catch it," announced Lucifer, making Sam raise his eyebrows at the sudden shift in pronouns.

"Great idea! You can go first into the dark, mysterious tunnel after that creepy thing and when you get to the other end, tell us if it's safe or not," drawled Dean sarcastically.

Castiel frowned disapprovingly and paced towards the door. "In case you're forgetting, we still need to find Crowley. If we get to him, then whatever is keeping him captive may be able to help us."

"Not that it'll want to," huffed Lucifer as he crossed his arms.

Gabriel rolled his eyes and followed his younger brother behind the wardrobe. He assessed the opening for a few seconds before pulling a face.

"Are we gonna fit through there?"

Castiel glared at his brother before crawling into the tunnel. "I'm certain that we can manage."

Gabe shrugged and followed his brother; Dean and Sam not far behind (although Sam did get stuck on his first attempt at pushing through the opening, meaning Dean had to pull him through and Lucifer gave him a non-too-gentle kick to ease the process).

"Ow!"

"Hey, it got you through, didn't it?"

"Get in here!"

"You're whiny."

The tunnel wasn't as long as the group had originally thought and after a minute, they were emerging on the other side. To their dismay, it was identical to the room they had just left, except that this one seemed to have slightly brighter coloured walls and furniture.

"Well this sucks," moaned Lucifer.

Castiel deflated, his confidence dissipating as he glanced around the room.

Dean, determined not to let his friend lose hope, strode towards the only other way out of the room and flung the door open. He gasped at what he saw.

Inside lay a brightly lit kitchen with inviting smells emanating from the pots and pans steaming on the hob. Bon Jovi could be heard in the distance and Dean couldn't help but grin when he spotted the golden apple pie sitting innocently in the middle of a chequered, round table, five plates surrounding it. There was a feeling of safety, as if nothing could tarnish such a perfect setting, which was reinforced by the warmth of the atmosphere circulating in the large, yet cosy room. It felt like home.

There was another object on the table and without a second thought, Dean strode over to it.

He cocked his head slightly when he picked up the old doll and it was at this point he heard the rest of the group follow him in. They, too, were surprised at the domestic surroundings.

Sam plucked the doll from his brother's grip and frowned; an expression that looked out of place in such a wonderful room.

"Remind you of someone?"

Dean raised an eyebrow. "What?"

He was startled when his little brother grabbed his jacket and yanked it towards the doll's attire to compare the two.

He was even more startled when he realised that he was looking at a miniature of himself.

He started to sweat; that couldn't be good.

"So what, something knew we were coming?" He asked nervously.

Sam placed the doll back on the table. "It seems so."

Suddenly, Dean heard a soft humming sound coming from another room. He motioned to Sam to be quiet and they both crept towards the source of the tune, the powerless Angels preparing for an attack.

Dean flung the door open and aimed his gun at the figure dusting a beautifully varnished cabinet in the intimate living room, which seemed oddly familiar to the eldest Winchester.

The figure straightened upon hearing Dean's entry and the group could clearly see long, blonde hair and elegant legs attached to an hourglass figure.

An indescribable feeling of wrongness crept into Dean's body, every fibre of his being telling him to turn tail and run far away from here. Unwilling to look cowardly however, he trained his gun on the woman and growled out "Who are you and what have you done with Crowley?"

The figure stilled. "Dean?"

The elder Winchester's blood ran cold; he knew that voice.

"Dean? Is that you?"

The gun began to tremble and his legs were threatening to collapse from under him.

The woman turned to face him, a sweet smile spreading across her features.

"Oh, Dean! It is you! I've missed you so much, darling."

Faintly, he registered Sam's horrified gasp beside him, but Dean was too busy focusing on the thing that was wearing his mother and had decided to sew ugly black buttons into the sockets where sparkling blue eyes should be.

A quiet _"mom?"_ escaped his lips before he had time to stifle it.

The woman chuckled and dropped the duster on the comfortable-looking couch, before walking to Dean's position. Dean aimed the gun between her buttons.

"I'm your _other _mother, silly. The one that won't burn on the ceiling."

Dean stiffened as his finger twitched on the trigger.

"Don't be like that, Dean. I love you just as much as your real mother. I'm here to carry on what she started and to help guide you with your path in life. You don't have to be a hunter anymore; I know that your mother wouldn't have wanted that for you. Let me help you. Let me give you the life you deserve; one that you can enjoy with your little brother." Here, she smiled softly at Sam before returning her loving gaze to Dean.

"Your mother would have been so proud of you boys, coping with the things you have seen and been forced to do from such a young age. So allow me to give you the life she wanted you to have. I just want to make you happy. We could be a family again; you, Sam, your father and I."

A door creaked open and John Winchester strolled through it, smiling sadly.

Sam choked upon spotting the glossy buttons replacing his eyes.

"I'm so sorry about what you've endured, boys, but I can't think of anyone else who I'd be so proud to say are my sons. Relax with your family, son. You've earned it."

Something inside Dean broke between seeing his dead parents smiling at him and hearing his father say he was proud of them. The gun fell from his hands and tears threatened to leak from his misty eyes.

Sam didn't appear to be faring much better, so Mary ran to them both and enveloped them in her embrace.

"It's alright. Shh... shh... I know this is hard. Take as long as you want to adjust. We'll be right here."

John nodded and paced to the front door. "If you need to talk, I'll be out cleaning the Impala." He winked at Dean before disappearing through the door.

"Make yourself at home; it is yours after all and don't forget about your friends. Shout if you need anything." With that she returned to her dusting.

Confused between their instincts (which were telling them that they weren't supposed to trust the two beings) and their emotions (which were telling them they should take advantage of being able to have a whole family again), the two brothers turned to the Angels.

Gabriel was scowling at Mary's back. "She didn't answer the question about Crowley," he whispered.

"Maybe she isn't to blame," argued Sam, although Castiel suspected that the offer of _home_ was clouding the younger Winchester's reasoning.

"I find that hard to believe," snorted Gabe.

Dean yanked the Archangel by his collar into the kitchen, so as not to be heard by their mother.

"Watch it," he snarled. "She could have heard you."

"Why do you care?! If it were any other monster, you would have ganked them on the spot. Why not these?"

"Maybe they're not monsters. What if they really are just another version of mom and dad?" Sam asked hopefully.

Castiel felt sorry for the young man. Those creatures were obviously manipulating the Winchesters' minds so far as to make them believe that they really could be happy here and live a normal life.

A stray thought crossed Castiel's mind: what if they could? Why should he and Gabriel have the rights to take that feeling of joy away from the two humans? Wasn't it the Angels and Demons that made the brothers so unhappy in the first place? Shouldn't they try to fix it?

"You're not thinking straight!" Gabe said exasperatedly. "Those _things _aren't actually your family."

There was a tap on the door and Mary's head popped around it as it opened.

"Sorry, I forgot to say that the pie is for you. I baked it specially because I know how much you love them, Dean. So, don't be afraid to dig in," she smiled and closed the door gently behind her.

Dean gave Gabriel a pointed look. "Yeah. They seem so evil."

Gabriel threw his hands up and glared at the hunter. "What if it's poisoned?"

Dean rolled his eyes and walked to the pie, cut himself a generous slice and took a small bite after smelling it in case of any odd odours. He moaned as the sweet apple oozed down his throat, its warmth sweeping around the entirety of his mouth. A dash of cinnamon assaulted his taste buds and left him craving more.

"Well that was stupid," growled Gabriel as he shook his head at Dean's rather sexual groans. "You could have been killed, or worse; subject to those things' whims."

A thought occurred to Sam as he took in Gabriel's disapproving stance. "Dude, are you... jealous?"

Gabriel blinked before whirling around to face Sam, a hard look in his eyes.

"_What?_"

Sam laughed disbelievingly. "You are aren't you? You're jealous that we're finally with our real family."

None of the Angels missed the 'real' that Sam stuck in that sentence. Lucifer whistled low as he watched the hurt look that flashed across the other Angels' faces.

"They're not you _real _family. They have buttons in their eyes for crying out loud!" Gabe ground out.

"What and you're our family?" Dean sneered.

Castiel couldn't help the feeling of rejection that gripped him from inside; he'd done so much to help these two and this was what he received as thanks?

Gabriel narrowed his eyes in fury and was about to retort when a faint yell garnered his attention.

"What was that?"

The others had noticed it too and were looking around in confusion. The yell sounded again.

Gabriel edged towards the door they had first come through and flung it open to reveal nothing but the same room they'd been in earlier. He tilted his head as he heard the same yell, but this time, it sounded a lot closer. There was a loud bang and the mirror on one of the walls bent fractionally, as if being put under pressure.

"I didn't think mirrors could bend like that," mused Lucifer.

Gabriel stalked towards it and peered behind it. There was only a wall.

The yell sounded again and Gabriel could clearly recognise who the voice belonged to.

"Crowley?"

There was a pause before the voice called out again. "Yes! Yes, it's me! Get me out of here!"

Gabriel knocked on the mirror. "How? Where are you?"

"Just grab me out from the mirror."

"Uhhh... And how exactly do I do that?"

There was a stressed sigh. "I don't know, just... put your hands through it. Here, I'll sit directly behind it."

There was some shuffling and Gabe pursed his lips in thought. How was this going to work again? Shrugging, he pushed his hand at the mirror, surprising himself when the limb vanished behind it. Why had it been a solid the first time he touched it? Wait... why couldn't Crowley have just crawled through it by himself?

"Thankyou. I've been throwing myself at that thing for days. It won't let me through from the inside." The King of Hell said as he dusted himself off. When he glanced up at his saviour, he reeled back in shock.

"Gabriel? I thought you were dead!"

"Surprise."

Crowley raised his eyebrows and his eyes widened when he saw the rest of Gabriel's group. Lucifer waved cheerily at him.

The Demon choked and tried to flee, but Gabriel caught him easily by the elbow. "What put you in there?"

Crowley scratched his head sheepishly and mumbled "My mother." He frowned and corrected himself.

"My other mother. She doesn't have eyes. I mean her eyes aren't eyes. They're-"

"Buttons?" Gabe cut in.

The Demon nodded before he realised something.

"Wait a minute. Do you still have your grace?"

Gabriel slammed Crowley into the nearest wall, although it took much more effort than the Archangel was used to.

"How do you know about that?"

A wolfish grin spread slowly across the Demon's face. "You don't, do you? You're practically human."

"And yet for some reason, I still have my blade, which I have no problems in jamming down your throat."

"Charming. The reason I know about your lack of power is because the thing that swiped yours is the thing that swiped mine."

"And what exactly is that _thing_?"

"Depends who has the doll."

"Me," growled Dean.

"Then that creature has taken the form of your mother, I'm guessing."

Dean nodded.

"You're not getting _attached _to her, are you?"

Both Winchesters exchanged guilty glances.

"Perfect," groaned Crowley.

Dean's face turned hard. "What is she?"

"Good question," replied a smooth, deep voice.

The group startled at the black feline that had somehow padded into the room without anyone noticing and was now observing them from the top of the wardrobe.

"Let me guess, you're the _other_ cat?" Sam asked warily.

"I'm not the other anything," it replied as it leapt to the floor.

"But you can talk."

"In this world, yes."

Sam pulled a face. "What is this place?"

"Anything you want it to be."

At the confused faces, the feline continued. "_She_ can make it into anything your heart desires. She searches for you with her own... methods and if she likes what she finds she manipulates this world to make you feel as though your wildest dreams have come true, or in your case, as though you're home. She can even morph into someone or something else... but you already know that." Here, his gaze shifted to Crowley and the Demon shifted uncomfortably.

"If _she_ can change forms, does that make her a Shapeshifter?" Sam asked.

"Of sorts."

"What do you mean?"

"She targets people through the dolls. Gives them hopes of a better life and then..." the cat trailed off.

"And then what? Why has she targeted me?" Dean asked, prompting Crowley to send him a glance of offence.

"She just wants something to love, I think. Or maybe... she'd love something to _eat_," the cat grinned and pounced onto a nearby coffee table.

Dean's eyes widened and Crowley tensed.

"We need to get out of here," announced Sam.

The cat chuckled. "What makes you think she'll let you leave? She can hear you. Everything in this world is created by her, which means that everything, even the walls, have ears."

"Then why are you so calm?"

"She doesn't want me. She thinks I'm vermin, so I do my best to stay out of her way." The cat's tattered ears pricked and he stared at the door for a moment.

"That's my cue to leave. Good luck gentlemen and be cautious; she loves to play games."

The door slowly opened and the feline bounded out of it.

Behind the door stood Mary and John Winchester. John looked terrified as he kept glancing back to his wife's face. He was trembling slightly. Mary, on the other hand, was smiling, although it seemed more strained than last time and her eyes had lost their sparkle.

"Hello, boys," she said quietly, her gaze landing on Crowley. "I see you found my... secret."

Suddenly, there was a shift in the atmosphere and everything seemed to get colder. The once bright colours were now solemn and dreary blacks and purples, with an eerie pale green illuminating the floor and ceiling. The quirky furniture had morphed into depressing creatures, similar in features to insects. Sam noticed how the heat from his breaths was forming a thin mist in the air.

"I noticed you brought that... rodent in here with you." She paused. "I hope he wasn't giving you any ideas."

An indescribable sense of foreboding crept up Sam's spine and he unconsciously backed towards Gabriel and Castiel, previous argument forgotten, as he stared into the emotionless face of his 'mother'.

Dean caught the movement from the corner of his eye and he too followed the motion. Unfortunately, so did Mary and an ugly sneer overtook her face.

"Awww... Don't be frightened of mommy. I won't hurt you... much." The John-look-alike began to shake with fear, his trembles becoming more violent as he tried to escape from his wife's side, but Mary merely snapped her fingers and John's form crumbled to dust, a horrified and pained expression crossing his face as he deteriorated.

The two Winchesters felt physically sick. Luckily, it would take a lot more than that to scare Gabriel and Castiel off (although it had been rather disturbing to the Angels) and they quickly grabbed their blades, preparing for a fight.

Shockingly, Mary laughed; a grinding sound that was somewhere in between screeching cutlery across a plate and rubbing chalk over a blackboard.

"Now really, boys. What do you think those toothpicks are going to do?"

There was a collective gasp from the males in the room as 'Mary' began to grow taller and thinner, her ribs becoming visible and her hips starting to show as sharp points on her underweight figure. Her face became distended and angular and her skin became paler, a marbling effect streaking across it. Her teeth were jagged and she grinned terrifyingly at the group as long needle-like appendages shot out from under her ripped dress. She flexed her hands as if testing them, only they weren't hands anymore; they were unforgiving, metallic sewing tools, which could easily be used to harm any living being with soft, breakable flesh.

Gabriel and Castiel yanked Sam and Dean behind them and lunged for the horrifying creature standing before them. As one, they drove their blades into its body. It cried out in pain and swiped at the two Angels with a claw, catching Gabriel across his cheek, but never actually fell.

The Trickster clamped a hand over his bleeding face and staggered backwards, eyes widening as the creature dragged the blades out of herself. Castiel edged towards his brother and the creature chuckled cruelly.

"Looks like these won't work on me, not anymore; similar to your powers."

She threw the weapons and they became lodged in the wall behind her opponents.

The two Angels backed up, the creature stalking forwards like a predator cornering its prey. Suddenly, the creature screeched in agony as a third blade ripped through its chest and slowly climbed up to its collarbone. The beast whirled around to snarl at its attacker and came face-to-face with Lucifer. The Angel's eyes narrowed and his fist collided with the thing's warped face, making her stumble backwards with a shriek. Castiel seized the opportunity to grab Lucifer's blade from her body and slice one of her hands off. He gripped his injured brother's shoulder and pulled him towards the tiny door they had originally come through, motioning for the Winchesters to hurry after him, after heaving the remaining two blades from the wall. The group scurried to the door only to be stopped by the dismembered hand jumping in front of them and making a grab for them.

Meanwhile, the howling creature was gliding towards them at a frightening pace and she wrapped a metallic hand around Lucifer's throat, hauling him away from the others. Gabriel, panicking, grasped the unruly hand and threw it at the creature. It clutched its owner's face and Lucifer was released. The Archangel skidded over to the group whilst Sam and Dean tugged desperately at the small door, eventually forcing it open. Gabriel and Cas shoved the two Winchesters through the door, following them soon after, with Lucifer and Crowley scrabbling through as well.

Crowley slammed the door shut behind them, narrowly avoiding the creature taking a swipe at him with her good arm. He failed to notice the spindly hand waiting quietly above him.

The group moved through the tunnel as quickly as they could, only resting when they appeared in the other world.

"Where are we?" Crowley asked as he eyed the drab room sceptically. The colours on this side of the tunnel were duller and nothing had the same vibrancy that the other world held.

"Wait, you haven't been here before?" Sam asked.

The King of Hell shook his head. "I was enjoying watching heaven falling apart when I blacked out and woke up staring at my... _mother_. I was stuck in that universe for twelve days."

There was a silence as the group regained their breath, during which time Sam noticed a rag-doll sporting a yellow raincoat and blue hair in the corner of the room. He let out a shuddering breath when he saw the buttons on its face.

"That's great; I'm happy for you. Can I have my blade back?" Lucifer broke the silence disinterestedly. Castiel frowned but did as asked, albeit reluctantly.

Suddenly, Dean let out a startled shout and the three Angels drew their blades to find the elder Winchester grasping at his throat.

"Dean!" Sam yelled as he ran to his brother to pull the needle-filled hand off his neck. The Angels readied themselves for an attack, whereas Crowley merely glanced to the window and rolled his eyes.

He strode over to the eldest hunter, pushed Sam out of the way and plucked the feisty appendage off Dean's throat. He proceeded to stalk towards the window and lobbed the hand out of it, making it disappear into the horizon.

When he turned back around, he was met with five staring faces.

"It was just a hand. It's not as if it was attached to anything."

"You just chucked it through the window." Gabriel said slowly.

"Yes."

Dean opened his mouth to say something, but promptly shut it as the event replayed in his mind.

"Thanks," he settled on.

"Don't know why we didn't think of that before," huffed the former Demon. "Now, how do we get out of here? I'm so done with button-eyed monsters."

"We we're hoping the thing that got you would know," replied Sam sheepishly.

"Great plan, Moose," growled Crowley.

A quiet _'meow' _made the group glance towards the only large door in the room, where a black cat with bright eyes was gazing at them.

"Don't tell me you know." Crowley groaned.

The cat flicked its tail at them and padded into the room. It hopped onto the windowsill and with a quick look back, leapt out of sight.

"Let me guess: we're going to follow the demented kitten?"

Gabe patted the Demon on the back with a grin and climbed out through the window and onto the lawn. He spotted the feline trotting a little way down the hill to a sign that said 'Pink Palace apartments'. It stopped in front of the thin, wooden post and turned its head to stare directly at Gabriel with a grin that the Archangel couldn't see from such a distance. Then, it faced the post and walked forwards, disappearing behind it.

Gabriel raised his eyebrows and waved his hand for the others to follow him. They jogged over to the sign and Castiel looked over to his brother. "Do you think this will take us home?"

Gabe took in a deep breath. "I hope so."

They vanished behind the post.


	4. Chapter 4

_A/N: I don't yet know enough about Capaldi so I'm using Matt Smith, but I have used a few of David Tennant's lines from the actual show. Lets see if you can spot them!_

**_Doctor Who_**

"Ugh... Platform nine-and-three-quarters needs a softer landing pad," groaned Dean as he rubbed his sore derrière from where it had hit the paved floor.

"Guys... I don't think we're home yet," mumbled Sam.

"What makes you say that?" Dean grumbled as he got to his feet, nearly falling over when all the bones in his left leg cracked back into position.

There was no response from his brother, so Dean glanced up to find him pointing into the distance.

"I don't think America has a 'London eye'."

"Gee, Sam, you think?"

"Or blue Police boxes."

"No, America definitely doesn't have... wait... what?"

Sam nodded towards a street corner, where a royal blue box with the words 'Police Public Call Box' transcribed above its door was sitting next to an old bank with large, stone figures standing majestically on its roof.

"Well _that_ doesn't look out of place," muttered Lucifer.

"Sam?"

"Yeah, Dean?"

"...Why is there a _TARDIS_ in the middle of London?"

"...Maybe it's a prop for the new episode they're filming?"

At that moment, a man about the same height as Castiel and wearing a bowtie, bounded out of the box, talking animatedly to his two companions who followed him moments later.

The ginger female spotted the ever-growing group staring at them and stopped, as if startled by their appearance. The shaggy-haired man with a bowtie noticed and turned to see what the trouble was. When he saw them, his eyes grew wide and a grin threatened to split his face in two. He waved excitedly at them and motioned for the two people behind him to follow him as he ran towards the group like an over-eager puppy.

"Canton! What are you doing in England? Oooh, let me guess... Top-secret business? Love the suit by the way." The shaggy haired man babbled on as he looked at Crowley. He quickly faced the rest of the group.

"I'm the Doctor by the way. I'm not sure if Mr. Delaware has ever spoken about me before, but we met in the Whitehouse where his friends tried to shoot me. In hindsight I suppose it was a bad idea to break into the Whitehouse in the first place, especially when President Nixon was present. This is Amy and Rory. Say hi to the people Amy and Rory."

The blonde male and the ginger female finally caught up to their friend.

"Hi." They panted in unison as they tried to catch their breath.

"Sorry, I don't believe we've met." The Doctor said as he held out his hand to Dean.

"Hey, shouldn't you be older. Like, _a lot _older?" Frowned Amy as she took in Crowley's appearance.

"Amy! You can't just ask people why they aren't old, but now you mention it why aren't you covered in wrinkles. Or dead?" The Doctor asked as he frowned at the Demon, quickly forgetting about the eldest Winchester and dropping his hand just as Dean was about to shake it and introduce himself.

Crowley glanced between the Doctor, Amy and Rory as if trying to figure out what they'd been talking about for the last few minutes.

"I have no idea what you're yapping on about," he settled with.

A thoughtful expression crossed the Doctor's face. "You should at least be in your late eighties, so why do you look only a few years older than the last time we met? Unless you're not really Canton... Maybe a descendant of some sort?"

"Who's Canton?"

"A man who looks like you."

"I figured that out, thanks. I mean why do you keep calling me 'Canton'?" Crowley asked as his patience started to wear thin. Who were these insufferable idiots?

"Because you look like him."

Dean elbowed his brother and quietly whispered, "I don't think they're filming."

Sam glared at Dean. "_Genius_."

"Filming? What do you mean filming? You don't think we're shooting a TV show do you?"

Sam and Dean jumped at the Doctor's keen hearing.

"Actually, yes. That's exactly what we thought you were doing," replied Sam. "Now, we're not so sure."

"What on Earth would make you think that?" The Doctor snorted. "You don't think silent aliens who want to take over the world by appearing on TV and making you forget that you ever saw them, whilst sending out subliminal messages happens in television shows, do you?"

Rory blinked. "Yes. That's exactly what would happen on a TV show."

The Doctor paused. "Huh, someone should write a script. No, stop distracting me. Lets get back to Canton, or not-Canton. Who are you? What's your name?"

The Demon's mouth formed a thin, straight line. "Crowley. My name is Crowley."

"Well then, Mr. Crowley, it is a pleasure to meet you."

The Demon couldn't help but smirk. "I'm sure it is." _If only they knew._

The Doctor, for the first time in their short acquaintance, looked slightly uneasy upon seeing the Demon's small quirk of lips; something about this Canton-look-alike felt wrong.

"Right, sorry to bother you. We'll just get on our way. Rory, Amy, come on! We've got Angels to deal with."

The group startled. _Angels?_

"Hold up a minute. Angels?" Dean asked warily as he grabbed the Doctor's arm to prevent his escape.

The Doctor looked confused and he glanced to his friends in a silent plea for help.

None came.

"Err... Well... Yes. Angels. Sort of. Not really. It's complicated." The man turned on his heel and tried to retreat once again, but Dean's grip remained firm. Alarm bells began to ring in the Doctor's head; that was not the reaction he had anticipated and something was telling him that these weren't your everyday humans. He was tugged closer to the well-muscled American and a gasp escaped him as the muzzle of a gun was pressed up against his stomach.

"We've got plenty of time."

From the corner of his eye, the Doctor glimpsed Amy and Rory moving towards him before a giant, broad-shouldered man slipped in the way of his line of vision and produced an oddly shaped knife.

The Doctor searched his brain quickly to find a way out of his predicament.

"Really? I tell you that all-powerful beings exist and this is how you react? Ever heard of don't shoot the messenger?"

"We've had a little experience with the supernatural."

"I see... What about aliens?"

"What?"

"Aliens. What do you think of them?"

Suddenly, there was a high-pitched screech and the grip on the Doctor's arm was removed in favour of protecting its owner's ears. The Time Lord spun around and dragged his companions with him as he sped off down the street, quickly pocketing a thin device with a green, glowing light at one end.

Dean cursed as the ringing continued to echo long after the Doctor had disappeared from view.

"What was that thing?" He growled as he rubbed at one ear. When he received no response, he whirled around to face the Angels and Demon, only to find three of the four on the floor, clutching at their heads in pain. Sam and Dean's eyes immediately widened in alarm.

"Cas!" "Gabe!" The pair said at the same time.

They rushed to their fallen friends and pulled them to their feet, supporting them as they were unable to orientate themselves the first time.

"You okay?" Dean asked as Castiel's legs buckled from under him.

The Angel shook his head. "That... sound... it interfered... with my... grace..."

Dean frowned. "I thought you didn't have any left."

This time Gabriel spoke up from his position slumped in Sam's arms. "Don't worry... it's news to us too..."

Crowley raised an eyebrow and glanced down at the groaning Lucifer. "Seems like you're not the only ones who's got their powers reinstalled." He grinned at the Winchesters and clicked his fingers together. "Later, boys."

"Well, at least that's one pain out of the way. Just one to go," muttered Dean as he watched Lucifer get up unsteadily, only to stumble into a brick wall when the world tilted under his feet.

Sam let out a snicker, but promptly shut his mouth when the blonde sent a withering glare his way.

"Considering I'm now at full power, you might want to be a bit more cautious with your attitude."

Sam felt more than heard Gabriel snort "Look who's talking," into his shirt.

When the three Angels finally balanced themselves without the aid of the Winchesters (or in Lucifer's case a wall and a lamppost), Dean thought back to the conversation with the 'Doctor'.

"Do you think he actually knew about Angels? Is that why he was able to disrupt your grace? Maybe he knows how to get us back ho- wait. If you three are fully charged, can't you just zap us home?"

The Angels blinked as if they hadn't even entertained the idea.

"Oh yeah." Gabriel frowned. The expression quickly morphed into a bright grin. "First-class ticket home coming straight up."

The Winchesters' thoughts suddenly turned hopeful as Lucifer rolled his eyes and Gabriel raised his fingers and snapped.

Unfortunately, nothing happened.

Gabriel looked crestfallen as he inspected his fingers intently, as if they were to blame. Lucifer laughed.

"Knew it couldn't have been that easy." He turned to the Winchesters and leaned lazily against the lamppost. "Whatever curse you've managed to drag us into isn't going to let us go without a fight."

"You think we're the cause of this?" Sam growled.

The Devil shrugged and found the statues on top of the bank more interesting than the current conversation.

"How did Crowley escape?" Cas asked thoughtfully. "More importantly, where did he go?"

Dean and Sam glanced at each other; that was a good question.

"No idea," scowled Dean, "but sitting around and chatting about it isn't going to do us much good. We've got to get moving and I think that this 'Doctor' guy knows something and is keeping secrets. I mean, what even was that stick thing he was holding?"

"Screwdriver." Sam muttered, "Hang on, Dean. Doesn't this seem a little _odd_ to you?"

"Everything in our lives is a 'little odd', Sam."

"I know that. What I mean is: am I crazy, or are we living an episode of _Doctor Who_?"

"Both."

"Wow. Thanks."

"No problem. Seriously though, I think you may be right."

"Brilliant deduction, Holmes."

"Shut it, Gabriel."

Said Archangel grinned and snapped his fingers together. A cherry lollipop appeared in his free hand and the Trickster side of him smiled in delight at finally having something sweet and sugary to rot his teeth on.

Lucifer rolled his eyes at his brother's immature antics before returning his attentions to the detailed Angelic figures on top of the bank.

"The question is, how do we find this 'Doctor'," mused Sam.

"He will have to return for his vehicle at some point," reasoned Cas as he pointed to the blue box on the street corner.

The Winchesters shared a look and shrugged before making their way to the TARDIS.

"You coming, Lucy?" Gabriel called when he realised his sibling wasn't trailing them, but instead frowning thoughtfully at the bank's roof.

"Lucifer?"

"I swear that there were five up there before."

The Trickster followed his brother's line of sight and chuckled to himself upon spotting the four statues.

"Whatever you say, brother. You coming or not?" He asked before turning on his heel and jogging after the Winchesters and Castiel.

Lucifer glared at the roof once more and scowled deeply when the figures seemed to be staring at him.

"I know what I saw. Don't mock me," he said to no one in particular as he trudged after the others.

In his haste to say "hello" to 'Canton', the Doctor had failed to lock the TARDIS. As a result, two curious Winchesters had poked their heads around the door, only to stumble backwards in surprise at how alien everything inside was.

"It's bigger on the inside," mumbled Sam stupidly. Dean gulped and nodded in agreement as he gathered the courage to walk through the doorway.

Castiel and Lucifer raised an eyebrow (an oddly human expression) in mild surprise as they took in their surroundings, whereas Gabriel bounced around the room as though the others had just announced that it would be Christmas every day.

"Finally! Someone who knows how to live and have a little fun once in a while! Neat trick but could do with a new interior designer. What's with all the circles?"

"Err... Guys? There's a corridor down here." Came Sam's voice from... somewhere.

"Has it got wallpaper?"

Castiel shot his brother a disbelieving stare.

"...No... But there's an ensuite at the bottom end."

"Has that got wall-mmph?!"

Lucifer snickered at the other Archangel's wide eyes as the duct tape plastered itself across his face with a click of fingers. However, the oldest Angel was slightly confused at Castiel's smug expression and the way Gabriel groaned when he, too, spotted it.

After three hours of the Doctor's absence, the group grew restless and they began to explore the many rooms of the TARDIS.

Two hours later saw Sam and Dean standing in the middle of the control room, rubbing the backs of their necks awkwardly as they stared at Castiel's and Gabriel's backs, who were chatting quietly with each other as they examined the main panels at the heart of the blue box.

After a quick round of 'rock, paper, scissors', Dean cleared his throat loudly to catch the attention of the two Angels. They spun around wordlessly. The Winchesters gulped. Dean broke the silence.

"Hey, umm... about what we said back in that other world..."

Castiel tilted his head as the hunter trailed off and Gabriel raised an eyebrow.

"We didn't mean it... any of it." Sam jumped in.

The Angels frowned slightly so Dean continued; "We were out of order... saying that about you. You've both done so much for us... to think that we actually had the guts to..."

"You two _are_ family." Sam began as Dean ran out of courage once again. "We would never want to hurt you guys... It's just when we saw our mother and father... and what they were offering..."

"We knew we shouldn't really be trusting them, but..."

Gabriel held up his hand to stop the brothers' ramblings. "You had a moment of weakness."

The brothers nodded and hung their heads low.

"We're so sorry," mumbled Sam quietly as Dean made a faint noise of agreement.

A small smile graced both Angels' lips.

"You are forgiven," stated Castiel as his brother clicked his fingers, making a lollipop appear in both Winchesters' hands.

"Now pop a smile and go and explore; your angst is clouding up the room," grinned Gabriel as he threw a handful of Skittles into his mouth, before looking to his younger brother and willing a sherbet dipper into his palm. Castiel rolled his eyes but took a lick of the fine powder anyway.

The Winchesters grinned and turned on their heels as they took the Archangel's advice.

Gabriel shook his head good-naturedly before casually asking "I wonder what that _'thud'_ was before?"

Castiel raised an eyebrow. "What _'thud'_?"

"Never mind. You probably weren't here. I just thought I heard something in here, but it might be my imagination. Doesn't matter anyway."

After a few more hours, the world outside had grown dark and although the Angels, fully powered, had no need for sleep, the humans did. They chose their own rooms ("how big is this place anyway?") and bunked down for the night, leaving the Angels to wander freely.

Three statues remained on the bank; each observing the police box.

* * *

Crowley was pale faced as he sprinted through the dimly lit back streets of London. He didn't dare look back in case the creature behind caught up to him. He dodged from back alley to back alley in hopes of losing the thing on his tail, but the creature always proved to be one step ahead.

He gasped when he came across a dead end and faced an internal battle of whether or not he should just 'magic' himself out of there. The conflict occurred because he'd tried it once and another creature had appeared where he had.

When he turned away from the wall, he scrambled back at the sight of the winged figure staring at him a few yards away. It seemed like a stone Angel frozen in place, but Crowley knew better. He knew that the second he took his eyes off the statue it would be looming over him, claws outstretched and teeth sharpened, ready for the kill.

Mainly because he'd seen it not ten minutes ago.

Sweat trickled down his forehead when he heard the telltale buzz of a faulty street lamp. There was a lot of cloud cover that evening and the only light to keep the ominous darkness from creeping into the alleyway was the one street lamp glowing a dim orange at the end of the alley. So when the groaning static of the lamp reached a crescendo and the light began to flicker, casting shadows over the private road, Crowley pressed himself against the wall because the very thing he was trying to escape had moved a foot closer with each short interval of illumination.

The statue was approximately seven metres away when the street lamp gave out for its longest time yet and the alley was overtaken by blackness.

When the lamp found the will to relight itself, Crowley whimpered because the horrifying creature was four centimetres from wrapping a lethal claw around his throat.

His instinct was to whip out his knife and chop the thing's head off, but he'd tried that once and his knife was currently lying snapped in half in a gutter a couple of miles away.

He heard the quiet buzz again and a wave of nausea welled up inside him. This was it. Nowhere to run and nowhere to hide. He couldn't just snap his fingers because the thing was too close, so the only thing left was to wait until the street lamp let out its final breath and watch as he was overtaken by nothingness. He closed his eyes one final time.

...Except someone was shining a torch at the statue.

Crowley dared to glance at the seven feet tall wall behind him and couldn't help but gape at the floppy haired man perched happily on its top, holding a large power torch and sporting what seemed to be a fez.

"How did...?"

"I find you? Tracked the movement of these guys," grinned the Doctor as he gestured to the stone figure, but never took his eyes off it. "And let me tell you, you must have some serious energy to be attracting over three dozen of them. I've only seen this many in one place twice before; once with me and once with a man I met two weeks ago. He was a bit odd though, military I think. Back to the point: You certainly aren't human, Crowley, so what are you?"

"I'm about to be dead if I don't find a way around this thing soon."

"Just walk around it. I'll keep my eyes on it."

The Demon did as he was told (with some trust issues) until he was facing its back.

"Now what? We turn tail and run and this thing will be on us before we know it."

"I'm going to call my ship."

* * *

Castiel poked his head into the control room and frowned. The same muffled _'thud' _that his brother had heard earlier had sounded again, but the young Angel couldn't detect anything with his grace.

He glanced around the room and pulled a face when he saw the stone Angel covering its eyes in the corner of the room; Gabriel wasn't kidding about the décor. He shook his head and wandered down the corridor, idly wondering where the Trickster had found the statue and why on Earth he'd put it in the main room. He was mildly surprised his brother hadn't seen fit to suspend it over Dean's bed whilst he slept, with a note attached; _'Angels are watching over you'_.

The blue-eyed Angel was pulled out of his musings when the floor began to shake violently and a strange whirring noise floated down the corridor. Three sets of footsteps could be heard racing towards him and his grace sensed an influx of energy coming from the control room. Castiel immediately realised that they were in flight and by the looks of it, so did Gabriel if his eyebrows shooting to his hairline was anything to go by.

Just as suddenly as everything had erupted into chaos, it was peaceful again, which was only broken by Lucifer sauntering up to them and asking "What have the Chuckle-brothers broken this time?"

Dean scowled and marched to the front door. He opened it to assess if they were in the same location at which they'd entered the TARDIS and was nearly flattened by two men rushing inside.

"Oooh, found your friends," grinned the Doctor.

Crowley glanced between the three Angels, moose of a human and the groaning squirrel lying on the floor.

"Yippee."

"Hold on a minute, where you stealing my TARDIS?"

"More like sleeping in it," laughed a female voice.

"Amy! Wait did you let them in?"

"No. You left the door unlocked," yawned Rory as he trudged into the room,

"Oh. Oh yeah."

The three Angels looked startled upon the entrance of two extra humans.

"Why can't we feel you? What are you?" Gabriel asked, stunned.

"We're humans and he's a Time Lord," replied Rory sleepily as he gestured to the Doctor.

"And you four aren't any of the above," stated the Doctor as he glanced between the Angel and Demon.

"How do you know-?" Sam began.

"You two are humans? Easy, those three were startled when Amy and Rory walked into the room, whereas you two were defensive, which is why you immediately went to help him up," interrupted Time Lord as Sam hoisted his brother to his feet.

"So the question is, what are you?" He continued as he turned towards the three Angels.

"Angels," answered Amy. Upon seeing seven confused faces, Rory elaborated.

"We've been with them for two hours, but none of them seemed to notice. We heard them talking and those two," he nodded at the Winchesters, "kept referring to 'Angel mojo'. Oh and one's called Gabriel and his brother is Lucifer... from what we can gather."

"...You're like my own personal spies!"

"Here's a question: You know we're Angels, how come we couldn't detect your presence?" Gabriel growled.

Amy shrugged. "The TARDIS generates a lot of energy. If you use a being's energy to recognise their existence then maybe the TARDIS was masking ours, considering ours is so insignificant compared to it."

Gabriel frowned in thought; theoretically it could be possible for the TARDIS's immense power to interfere with the way his grace detected a human's smaller soul. If he didn't know any better, Gabriel would say that the blue box had a soul of its own after seeing what was hidden beneath those control panels...

"So what you're saying is you really are just humans?"

"Up to now."

"..."

"It's complicated."

"How can-?"

"Technically I'm over two thousand years old," grumbled Rory as he rubbed at his eyes.

There was a moment of silence as everyone baring the Doctor and Amy tried to process that.

"Don't ask." Rory muttered sharply when it looked like Castiel was about to ask a question.

"Aaaanyway," said the Doctor brightly when the silence became awkward. "I know what you three are now, so I'm guessing that you're the same, Crowley? It would explain the influx in Weeping Angels."

"So that's what they were. Weeping Angels. And no, I'm not a harp-playing featherbrain. Quite the opposite, actually."

There was a quiet growl from Castiel and a scowl from Gabriel as the Doctor began to grow wary of the four obviously powerful beings in the room.

"...Then what exactly are you?"

Crowley sneered cruelly. "A Demon. King of Hell to be precise." There was a snort of laughter from Lucifer to which the Crossroads Demon frowned.

Much to everyone's surprise, the Doctor deflated a little, as if disappointed that Crowley wasn't as spectacular as he'd first expected.

"Oh."

The Demon gaped. "_'Oh'_? That's all you've got to say? I tell you that I'm ruler of the Underworld and all you can say is _'Oh'_?!"

The Doctor pulled a face. "Well technically he's the ruler of the Underworld _and_ he created you." He said as he pointed towards Lucifer, whose eyes lit up in delight at having the Demon put in his place.

"Also, it's kind of hard to be impressed by a Demon when there are three very powerful Angels in the room; one of which is the Devil and another the Archangel Gabriel who actually told Mary that she would be having the baby that a whole religion is based on now."

Crowley's faced turned sour. "And here I thought we were friends."

Castiel's eyes darted between the Doctor and his two human friends. "You all seem to be taking this remarkably well."

Amy frowned. "What do you mean?"

"You are in a room with three potentially dangerous Angels and a manipulating Demon, yet you haven't so much as blinked. Should you not be speechless with fear or, at the very least, confusion?"

The two humans glanced at each other and shrugged.

"You sort of get used to it after a while of travelling with that overeager toddler." Rory explained as he waved his hand in the general direction of the Time Lord. "You stop questioning what lurks beneath your bed each night or what's creeping in the shadows and you begin to just accept it."

"Besides, you seem more friendly than the other Angels we're currently dealing with," commented Amy.

"You keep mentioning these other Angels, but we're not sure what you're referring to." Cas remarked with a tilt of his head.

The Doctor clasped his hands together loudly and began to pace around the main controls of the TARDIS. "Weeping Angels. They feed off a being's potential energy. Basically, they send you back in time to a point before your birth and feed off the potential energy in the years that you _would_ have lived in the present. So you don't actually die, you're just not in the right time frame." He chuckled bitterly. "The only psychopaths in the universe to kill you nicely."

Gabriel searched his memory for something similar. "I've never heard of them. Where do they come from? What do they look like?"

"Nobody knows. They're as old as the universe itself. Well... almost. They usually look like a statue of a human with wings, but the thing is, when you look at them, they become 'Quantum locked', that is, they can't move unless they're not being watched. They cease to exist. Obviously it becomes a problem when you have to blink; they're very quick movers."

"Why do they weep?"

"They don't. It's a defence mechanism. If two Angels look at each other then they will be frozen in place forever, or at least until another force moves them away from each other, so they cover their eyes to stop that from happening."

"Great. How do we kill them?" Dean finally spoke up.

The Doctor looked mildly surprised. "You want to help?"

"Listen pal, we've dealt with all kinds of crazy. This isn't that big of a deal for us."

The Doctor smirked, as if having a private joke with himself. "I'm sure you have, but you won't have come across anything like this before. It's dangerous to get over-confident."

Dean rolled his eyes. "You're preaching to the choir, Chuckles. And you didn't answer my question: How do we gank them?"

"Well if you're so eager to join in, _we don't_."

Dean raised his eyebrows in disbelief. "What do you mean, _'we don't'_?"

"I mean that you can't kill a stone. They don't die unless they become starved, in which case they break down like any other piece of rock that has been weathered over centuries. But the odds of them starving in less than a week is pretty slim, don't you think?"

"So what? You're just gonna let them roam free and kill more innocent people?" Dean sputtered.

"Of course not!"

"Then what?"

"We're going to trick them."

"...How?"

"Easy! Just-"

_Crash._

"...What was that?"

"It sounded like it came from one of the bedrooms." With that, the Doctor was tearing through the corridor with a queasy feeling coiling up inside his gut. The others soon followed, albeit a little more reluctantly.

The Time Lord's brow furrowed when he reached the place he thought the noise had come from and was met with an undisturbed room. He glanced around thoughtfully before shrugging and making his way back to the control room, without so much as an explanation to his companions.

When he arrived, he stopped dead in his tracks.

Three stone figures were huddled over the control panels; their hands frozen inside the multitudes of wires that kept the TARDIS ticking. Another statue was staring right at him, beside the now-open door.

The Doctor held out his arm to stop the others from striding straight in.

"New plan," he murmured lowly.

Crowley gulped. "We didn't know your old one."

"Right. We need to get them away from the TARDIS."

Sam eyed the open door. "How did they get in anyway?"

"That crash was a distraction to get us out of the way so that they could open the door and let their friends in without us seeing, which means that there had to be at least one already in here. Why didn't any of us notice?"

Castiel shifted uncomfortably. "I believe I've made an error."

"Let me guess: you saw one earlier and didn't bother to mention it because you thought it didn't matter, or better yet, you thought it was part of the _décor_?"

"Is that sarcasm?"

"Probably."

"I see."

"Can we focus here for a sec?" Dean growled.

"Of course. Sorry," apologised the Doctor as he edged towards the control panel. "Don't take your eyes off them."

"What are you doing?" Asked Amy.

"Shutting down the TARDIS. Or at least locking it so they can't feed off its energy." He produced a simple key and shoved it into a hidden port on one of the panels. The large, brightly lit cylinder made a strange whirring noise before dimming to an unearthly green. The lights surrounding the room shut down and the whole area was bathed in an eerie teal glow. The Angels hadn't moved.

As the Doctor removed the key, it began to shimmer intermittently in a pale gold, as if energy was trying to force its way out of it. The Doctor buried it deep inside one of his pockets and slid over to the door. He motioned for his companions to follow and soon they were just outside the TARDIS.

"We're going to back away slowly. When I say run, try to keep up."

Lucifer had finally had enough.

"They're statues," he hissed. "Made of stone. There are two Archangels in your presence, _Doctor_. I very much doubt that something like that could overpower something like us. Enough of these games. Let us destroy them." He released his Angel blade and readied it into an attacking position.

The Doctor scowled and was about to argue when a smooth voice cut in.

"You would be wise to listen to the Doctor, brother. He knows more about these creatures than you do."

Sam and Dean tensed. They recognised that voice.

"Michael? Is that you?" Asked the Time Lord as though he'd just been reunited with his long-lost pet.

"Indeed, Doctor."

Both Winchesters' eyes widened as they slowly turned to face the new addition.

"...Adam?"

The new man glanced to Dean, an eyebrow raised in a questioning manner.

"Dean. I would say it was a surprise, but I suspected that you would show up sooner or later. You always find a way to get into places you don't really belong."

The two brothers deflated when it was confirmed that their half-brother was just being used as a vessel for the powerful Archangel.

Michael raised both eyebrows at their silence and once again moved to face Lucifer, being careful to not turn his back on the TARDIS, where a weeping Angel had managed to creep towards the open door not five feet away, without being detected.

"Brother?" Gabriel and Lucifer said in unison, disbelief bleeding through their tones.

Michael refused to react, instead choosing to speak to the Doctor.

"I suggest we leave, Doctor, or we may end up falling prey to those beings."

"...Right... sure... forgot about them."

The Time Lord pulled out a thin, metal device, its tip glowing an odd shade of green and aimed it at the doors of the blue box. They immediately shut and locked in front of the statues, temporarily preventing them from escaping.

"There. That'll take them a while to figure out." He glanced warily between the Angels that weren't trying to kill him and his friends. "I take it you know each other?"

Lucifer narrowed his eyes in reply, his Angel blade slipping from beneath his sleeve.

Michael caught the movement and mirrored it, whirling around to fully face his brother.

"Don't be a fool, brother. Now is not the time," said Michael coolly.

Castiel watched sadly as Gabriel stiffened and took a step back. Sam and Dean noticed the youngest Archangel's flighty behaviour and each discretely stepped closer, offering what comfort they could.

Fortunately, Rory was either oblivious or didn't care about the two hostile beings about to battle to the death not three metres from where he was standing, instead opting to comment on how Michael had appeared from nowhere and produced a similar blade to Lucifer.

"So wait, you're an Angel as well? I thought you were an army man of some sort, or part of the navy."

That seemed enough to snap Michael and Lucifer out of their death-match trance. Both Angels raised an incredulous eyebrow at the human; the Doctor seemed to have taken an interest in how blue the sky was today.

"Sorry. No need to get all defensive."

"Shut up, Rory." Amy whispered, apparently more observant than her husband.

There were a few moments of tense silence before Dean cleared his throat gruffly.

"Not to break up this _lovely _family reunion but, uh, one: there is a vicious statue trying to get out of that telephone box and two: we still don't know how to get back home to our reality, or universe, or dimension, or whatever the heck it is that we're not in at the moment!"

Michael nodded as if he understood perfectly. "I see... you are also unable to return."

"Yeah and I'd like to know why."

The Archangel frowned thoughtfully before glancing to his original true vessel.

"I'm afraid I can't answer that at the moment. I don't know enough about these creatures to understand how they could be prohibiting our escape from this world."

Dean's jaw dropped. "That's it?! You _'don't know'_?!"

Lucifer snorted. "Excellent work, brother." He drawled.

The eldest Archangel glared warningly at the blond before turning to the Doctor in search of inspiration.

Crowley, who had been watching the entire exchange with growing boredom, finally spoke up.

"You said that these statues can't look at each other for fear of being trapped motionless forever?" At the Doctor's nod Crowley continued. "Well it all seems rather simple to me."

"Get on with it," growled Dean.

A dramatic sigh. "If these creatures really are stopping us from returning home, then surely if we freeze them where they stand, their powers will have no effect on us? We'll be able to get back."

"Yes, very good, Crowley. But the adults already know that and are discussing _how to do it_." Lucifer spoke slowly, as if conversing with a dim-witted child.

The Demon's mouth formed a thin, irritated line. "Mirrors, moron. Or any reflective surface for that matter. Look, what happens if one of those Angels looks at its own reflection? Surely it'll have the same effect as if another Angel is watching it? You could superglue a hand mirror to its fingers and it wouldn't even be able to drop the thing because it would already be stone."

The Doctor blinked owlishly, Rory and Amy's eyes widening as they glanced to their friend.

"Why didn't _we_ ever think of that?" Amy asked, stunned.

"No idea." The Doctor muttered embarrassedly. He remembered himself and clapped his hands together enthusiastically. "Right! Come on team! Get as many mirrors as you can find and bring them here; we may be able to get those creatures out of the TARDIS before dawn, if we're lucky!"

* * *

They were very lucky. It was fortunate that Amy carried three compact mirrors in her purse (_"What? A girl can never be too prepared!"_) and the Doctor happened to carry duct tape with him in case he ever needed to "fix his glasses". It wasn't great, but it would do for now and would at least give them enough time to empty the TARDIS of Weeping Angels and time to think of a more permanent solution.

The Time Lord had even offered to send the group home as long as Michael and Lucifer didn't continue their showdown on his ship.

The four Angels and Demon, being the strongest of the group were elected the task of hauling the stone figures (complete with compacts, hand mirrors and tape) out of the TARDIS. Although it was still quite a struggle even with unearthly powers and Sam and Dean couldn't help but snicker when Michael managed to pull one over onto himself.

When the four statues were outside (and angled to face each other, just to be certain that there were no surprises) and the wires that were pulled out by the statues fixed back into place, the Doctor slid the glowing key from his pocket and inserted it into the main control panel.

The TARDIS whirred gently and the eerie green glow that bathed the room faded to a warmer yellow. The large cylinder stuttered a few times before its pistons slowly cycled into their regular rhythm and the Doctor smiled reminiscently as his pride and joy hummed back to life.

He grinned at the large group in front of him.

"I'm sure we can get the Angels sorted out," he said as he gestured to Rory, Amy and himself, "but right now, I think it's time you got home."

Sam and Dean beamed at each other. _Finally!_

"Fourth time's the charm, huh?" Gabriel grinned, shaking his head at the confused look from the Doctor, "Never mind."

The Doctor paced to a monitor, tapping a few things into its database before glancing back up to the group.

"Where do you want to go?"

"Kansas, U.S.A, 2014," said Sam, hopefully.

The Doctor whipped out his sonic screwdriver and scanned the youngest Winchester with it briefly, then transferred the data to the TARDIS's database, stumbling backwards when the floor jolted and the police box was catapulted into flight.

When the falling sensation finally stopped and the TARDIS reached its destination, the Doctor faced the group, a sincere brightness in his eyes.

"Thank you. For helping, that is. If you weren't there, we may never have rid the TARDIS of the Angels."

Crowley rolled his eyes and stalked through the door with Michael and Lucifer trailing behind. The remaining four nodded to the time travellers in thanks before following the rest of the group, the door closing gently behind them.

"Of course we wouldn't have had to rid the her of anything if you hadn't let them in here in the first place," muttered the Doctor, to which Rory shook his head, laughing when his wife thumped the alien on the back.

"Ow! What? It's true!"

"Well don't leave the door unlocked next time," smirked Amy leaning back on one of the panels.

"Sorry, _mum_. Anyway, time to clear those statues from the curb."

The blue box was once again driven into a bumpy flight.

"...Doctor? Should this panel be sparking like that?"

"Sparking?" The Doctor slid over to where the red head was standing, eyes going wide when the casing of the panel blew off and clattered to the ground, exposing faulty wiring and damaged components that should have been fixed earlier.

When the TARDIS came to a screeching halt, the Doctor bounded to the door and flung it open, shoulders dropping when he realised they were not at the coordinates he had entered.

"...Whoops."


End file.
